Touching The Tortoise

Masturbation of the male genitals

Touching the tortoise- masturbation

My girlfriend sent nudes, I’m going to touch my tortoise to them

by WillyMaster1001 November 4, 2023

behead the brown tortoise

Verb: To take a shit. So called because the act of the sphyncter muscles, whilst pinching off the loaf, creates a guillotine effect upon the toroise's (the shit) neck.

"Hey guys, I'd love to go to the store with you, but I've really got to behead the brown tortoise right now."

by A Dub November 10, 2008

The Gaming Tortoise

The person in your friend group that you always have to wait for when you're all playing games together because they are stuck on a level.

Bob: C'mon guys lets hurry this up!
Bill: *gets caught up*
Nathan: GUYS IM STUCK
Johnathan: *gets caught up* Hurry up! You're 100% The Gaming Tortoise of our friend group!

by McDonaldsOfAustralia February 5, 2023

the Toasty Tortoise

Where you put a girl head-first into a sleeping bag and then fuck her in the ass.

I used to hate camping, until I gave Rachael the Toasty Tortoise at the lake last weekend.

by ThaneOfCawdor June 28, 2009