substitute person

1. A person who is the replacement for a significant other, relative, or friend that isn't around anymore.

2. Derived from a quote by Claire from Elizabethtown.

"You and I have a special talent," Claire says to Drew. "And I saw it immediately. We're the substitute people. I've been the substitute person my whole life. I'm not an Ellen a co-worker Drew was into. I never wanted to be an Ellen. And I'm not a Cindy either…I like being alone too much. I mean, I'm with a guy who is married to his academic career. I rarely see him and I'm the substitute person there. I like it that way. It's a lot less pressure."

"Since Anne just broke up with Joe, Emily is Joe's substitute person."

by XVIII December 9, 2008

Substitute teacher

The most foolish kind of species of teachers are substitute teachers. THEY ARE FUCKING STUPID... LIKE REALLY FUCKING STUPID. They make you wet your pants.

Substitute teacher: So, what do you normally do in class?
Students: We eat pizza and watch Netflix all-day *quietly pissing their pants of laughter*
*AWKWARD SILENCE*
SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Ok, then let's do that

by ILL BE THERE November 19, 2019

Substitute Teacher

Great to have cover your lessons at school in Years 7 to 9, but once you hit GCSE level in Year 10 to 11, it is a bit of a piss-take at how unqualified some teachers can be.

Example...

Year 7 : What? Miss isn't in?? SCORE!! We have a Substitute teacher!!!

Year 11 : What? Miss isn't in? Great, I'm gonna fail my exams now we have a Substitute teacher!

by HappyGirl1993 October 25, 2010

hand substitute

1. When a person becomes bored with masturbating with ones own hand, and experiments with external objects.

2. Vagina or penis

Tom: After masturbating for 30 years I think its time to find a hand substitute.
Jerry: Maybe you shouldn't be a 40 year old virgin

by Don Pavlic August 17, 2011

Slang Substitute

A slang substitute is a word, words or phrase that may be used interchangeably with a definition already defined on Urban Dictionary. However, the Slang Substitute may not yet be defined. Slang Substitutes must be clearly noted within the definition of an existing slang term for it be a valid substitute. The beauty of a Slang Substitute is that even if the term is later defined, it still remains a valid Slang Substitute for the term in which it was noted to mean the same thing. Adding Slang Substitutes within definitions saves time and allows more creative slang terminology.

The term Bone In Filet means a tight ass ready for anal play. The term Bone In Ham, while not defined as such, may be used interchangeably to mean the same as Bone In Filet because its noted as a Slang Substitute withing the definition of Bone In Filet.

by Eaton Holgoode February 23, 2014

Substitute Friend

A friend you kind of know, enough to be besties with them when your real best friend is absent from school or can't go to a party. Someone who usually isn't your first choice, but is nice enough for you to be temporary friends with them until you find your real friend(s). But afterward, you will probably never talk to them again.

Sarah: Are you going to Marcia's party since you guys were hanging out during chemistry class?
Jill: No. She was just my Substitute Friend.

by Kona Kon Tiki December 20, 2010

I reject your reality and substitute my own.

A phrase used by a person who likes to eat shit, to some extent knows that eating shit is bad for them, but doesn't acknowledge that fact and therefore dismiss it.

It can be seen as a modern analogy to Plato's cave.

Example (à la Patrick's wallet meme):

PC user: You know that the baseline Mac Pro costs 5 times as much money than a similarly-spec'd windows based machine, right?

Apple user: Yup.

PC user: And you know that you can custom build your own PC, right?

Apple user: Yup.

PC user: And even get a similar Mac Pro computer case?

Apple user: Yup.

PC user: And configure it to run Mac OS?

Apple user: Yup.

PC user: Then why did you buy the Mac Pro?!?!??

Apple user: Cus I reject your reality and substitute my own.

PC user: *facepalm*

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian June 20, 2020