After eating all this cheese i needed someone to give me the old Sarasota drain snake, to end my constipation.
by Le Stefan August 25, 2018
Get the Sarasota drain snake mug.the best school in the entire world. if you go here please never leave you will never find a better school all the teachers are incredible and great
person: where’d you go to school last year?
scs student: sarasota christian school
person: i’m so fucking sorry
scs student: sarasota christian school
person: i’m so fucking sorry
by omgilovecheesecake March 10, 2022
Get the sarasota christian school mug.When you skip out of work on an afternoon break and tea bag a homeless vagrant for $5 in beer money.
Carl you are late again from your afternoon break. This cannot continue.
I'm sorry. I had Sarasota High Tea this afternoon and it took a little longer than expected. The dude had no teeth so it felt really good.
Ok well that's a legitimate reason. I won't write you up.
I'm sorry. I had Sarasota High Tea this afternoon and it took a little longer than expected. The dude had no teeth so it felt really good.
Ok well that's a legitimate reason. I won't write you up.
by Eaton Holgoode December 28, 2015
Get the Sarasota High Tea mug.The best time of the day to increase one's chances at being able to solicit a hand job from an over 60, geriatric male or female.
Roger always walked to the bar across the street after work. He was always assured of getting off during Sarasota Happy Hour.
by Eaton Holgoode November 24, 2015
Get the Sarasota Happy Hour mug.The most boring place in the world for the young, fabulous, and broke. For anyone who doesn't live here, I'm sure that Sarasota seems like a beautiful and wonderful place to vacation. But living here sucks. Basically, this is where rich, snotty old farts come to die. And irritate the hell out of the locals.
On any given day, you can see the blond, rich, family of four that just moved here from Michigan, ruining the sunset on Siesta Key, to take a family portrait in their "Floridian" white shirts and khaki pants. Shopping is a hobby, because there is nothing else to do. And, the shopping malls, now owned by the Texas-based Westfield, are now overrun by bored-out-of-their-minds preteens with Daddy's credit cards in their hot little hands. Buisnesses that have thrived here for 30-plus years are being driven out by greedy speculators. Every other home is for sale, with no one buying them, because the real estate bubble burst. I guess millionares don't feel like purchasing a home on Siesta Key, where driving one block on Memorial Day weekend takes four hours, and you are more likely to have your homeowners insurance taken away than a dog getting fleas. Then, once you're done playing the "hunker-down" drinking game during the latest hurricane, you can go to Walmart for the sixth time this week. The best thing about Sarasota is that is easy to spot tourists. Tourists, if you're at the beach, are the ones who bring two giant coolers, a giant bag of sandcastle building tools, a huge umbrella or tent, and about ten bottles of suntan lotion. And they do this to be at the beach for an hour. Outside of Siesta, they're the ones yelling at waitresses, cashiers, and just about everyone else in the service industry. Then they drive 30 miles an hour on US-41, and call it Tamiami Trail, to go for ice cream on St. Armands circle. They take pictures of the "art" that blocks the view of Marina Jack, without realising that the boats anchored in the bay are inhabited by people whom are considered homeless. Sarasota is the most segregated county in all of Florida, and the city planners are trying desperately to push out anyone who doesn't make at least 100K a year. But then again, they are too busy designing parking lots that are only easily navigated by the secret service.
by Knitakitty June 15, 2007
Get the Sarasota mug.Hell’s waiting room. Voted best place to die, 2018. Voted Best place to retire during a global Pandemic, 2020 & 2021, consecutively. Upscale coastal South Florida Gulf resort town tethered to its past glory as the home of the freak Ringling Brothers Circus. Populated by wealthy retirees, snowbirds, and witness protection clients. Visitors notoriously have no access to the internet. They must rely on interrupting local residents as if they were staff in an all-inclusive resort.
Zero local economy or unique character outside of Siesta Key Beach. Substandard medical infrastructure. Beach is frequently named America’s top destination within a 3 year time period. Parking is impossible when the heat index is below 110°F.
Shopping is the main activity aside from the beach. Retail consists of the usual national chains, big malls, Tommy Bahamaesque haberdasheries, and Chinese-imported seashell-laden tchotchke shops. Approximately four restaurants have kitchens that are open past 9pm.
Once known for an inexplicably giant statue of a sailor kissing a nurse on VJ Day, the piece was relocated to make way for a trendy 19-way roundabout at the city’s waterfront.
The city’s future looks bright though, as two hotels have been approved for construction on Siesta Key. This has inflamed the relationship between Island residents and the city though, because improving the single tourist attraction for the entire county seems anathema to those who reside near said beach.
Zero local economy or unique character outside of Siesta Key Beach. Substandard medical infrastructure. Beach is frequently named America’s top destination within a 3 year time period. Parking is impossible when the heat index is below 110°F.
Shopping is the main activity aside from the beach. Retail consists of the usual national chains, big malls, Tommy Bahamaesque haberdasheries, and Chinese-imported seashell-laden tchotchke shops. Approximately four restaurants have kitchens that are open past 9pm.
Once known for an inexplicably giant statue of a sailor kissing a nurse on VJ Day, the piece was relocated to make way for a trendy 19-way roundabout at the city’s waterfront.
The city’s future looks bright though, as two hotels have been approved for construction on Siesta Key. This has inflamed the relationship between Island residents and the city though, because improving the single tourist attraction for the entire county seems anathema to those who reside near said beach.
After his divorce, we never heard from him again. He was last seen in Sarasota working one of those metal-detector things on #siestakeybeach trying to make rent money.
by Imoknu January 13, 2022
Get the Sarasota mug.A school that encourages kids to act like dicks and tell other people what to do. Also encourages small mindedness and promotes heavy-handed solutions to problems. Effectivly summed up as ridiculous, it would really be funny were it not so sad.
by Jackeshamonesha July 11, 2009
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