THE SALAD GLOVE®

(noun) a glove, developed by the band Andrew Jackson Jihad, that is used to eat salad whilst avoiding dangerous forks and messy cleanups
(noun) a useful eating utensil that is latex-free and one-size-fits-all
(noun) an easy and clean tool that enables you to FIST FUCK YOUR HUNGER™
(noun) that shit you can buy that, along with your iPod, you can sell to Bookmans when your wife dies and you lose your job (from the song People II: Still Peoplin' by Andrew Jackson Jihad)

**Tuesday 1:30pm - Two young men are sitting in a corner booth at Denny's - Max is frustrated with his Caesar salad**

Max: I know I'm being a bitch, but don't you think eating croutons with a fork is next to impossible and fucking annoying?
Tim: Dude, you need THE SALAD GLOVE®.

by Maxwell Dope November 14, 2013

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salad shootin'

When you've eaten too much salad, or other fiber source, and the second your butt hits the toilet seat feces shoots out at high velocity.

Neil: Hey man, you coming, we're gonna be late for that statistical overview meeting!

Bob: Naw, dude, I'm gonna be salad shootin' for a few more hours. NEVER eat Mexican yogurt!!!

by BADxKARMA April 4, 2013

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right in front of my salad

a meme from a gay porn scene where two guys are fucking in front of a woman who is enjoying her salad. she responds with "are you serious? right in front of my salad?" it is used to express annoyance when someone is doing something totally inappropriate in front of your eyes.

"Are you seriously being transphobic? Right in front of my salad?"

by imahoeaf August 3, 2017

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