Pension Deficit Disorder

When people around you start to retire and you come to the awful realization that, despite a lifetime of working you have no money saved and no plan for your financial future other than work. In other words, the closest thing to retirement in your future is death.

"Honey, we won't be relocating to North Carolina after retirement next year. I've been diagnosed with a pension deficit disorder, and I'll be working until I die instead. Maybe you can relocate after you collect my life insurance payout..."

by TKD nurse March 26, 2017

Pensionalized

Takes the words pension and penalized to form new word meaning one who has had his or her pension reduced or eliminated by the company that they had served during their working life.

Poor mr jones has been pensionalized and is now living on the street due to his former employer taking away his pension after serving them faithfully for 38 years.

by Walter eagle December 18, 2010

Pensioner Pants

Baggy trousers worn by old people. The waist is usually elasticated because the wearer has arthritic fingers incapable of fastening buttons and zips. The decrepit bag-wearer always forgets to wash these repulsive garments which end up smelling like a Paki's toilet on a particularly bad day. Pensioner Pants are very popular with obese, long-past-it security guards who bore you to death with tales of their holidays in South Africa.

Good God! Look at Pork Scotch! What's the old twat wearing now?

They're his Pensioner Pants. Had them since 1973 and never washed them.

by Flappy Dickwad June 3, 2009

Pension Sex

A little sex each month but not enough to live on

Dude 1: Are getting back with your Ex or what?
Dude 2: Maybe, i'm getting tired of this pension sex tho.

by EuroPinseeker October 25, 2012

pensioners piano

A slots or pokies machine. Where pensioners go to spend their time before they kick the bucket.

Going to knock off work early and hit up the pensioners piano....you in?

by Mike Dibble April 27, 2020

pensioner

pensioner
An old guy who receives money for just being around a long time.

The pensioner is a useless old man.

by Apple Cider May 13, 2005

Pension Witch

An evil creature typically found in healthcare; who’s life purpose is to hypnotize and lure young Firefighters into marriage only with intent to file for divorce and steal half their hard earned retirement pension.

Rookie: That hot ER nurse gave me her number. Should I ask her out?

Captain: Keep it in your pants probie, she’s only after your pension.

Rookie: how do you know? She said she’s into me.

Captain: She can’t help it. She’s a Pension Witch. She’ll sell your motorcycle and use the cash to buy into a Pyramid scheme.

by Spicy chicken fajitas May 11, 2021