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Petroleum Heartbreak

After months and sometimes years of analysis, Engineers and tons of money is used to drill holes down the ground to find Oil. They do perforations to the location at the end of their drilling in the ground to get the oil flowing in the pipes from ground to the surface.

After this exercise, which took so long and a lot of money and a lot of heavy equipments and machines:

1) If Petroleum Engineers find only Gas coming from the ground, then Petroleum Engineers achieve 30% Hearbreak.
1) If Petroleum Engineers find only Water coming from the ground, then Petroleum Engineers achieve 50% Hearbreak.
1) If Petroleum Engineers find nothing coming from the ground, then Petroleum Engineers achieve 100% Hearbreak.
We been drilling all night and nothing is coming out of this feat, I think we are lead towards a petroleum heartbreak.
I came here to drill, but i dont care if it leads to a petroleum heartbreak
by pyrocute August 27, 2013
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Petroleum jelly

What we all know as "vaseline". Vaseline is the name of a petroleum jelly brand.
Petroleum jelly can prevent chapped hands and lips.
by untiteqm September 6, 2023
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petroleum jelly

The act of feeling envious towards another region's gasoline/petrol prices.
New Yorker: "Gas over here is down to $3.29 per gallon. I just filled up today."

Californian: "It's $4.57 over here. You have no idea how petroleum jelly I am of you right now."
by MiniPizzaHitman October 18, 2012
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petroleum transfer technician

One who pumps gas for a living at minimum wage but is also in charge of cleaning the toilets hourly with official signatures.
Mike got educated and is now an official petroleum transfer technician. Way to rise out of the getto
by hank00001111 October 17, 2017
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petroleum jelly

The act of feeling envious towards another region's gasoline/petrol prices.
New Yorker: "Gas over here is down to $3.29 per gallon. I just filled up today."

Californian: "It's $4.57 over here. You have no idea how petroleum jelly I am of you right now."
by babypiratesnapchat2 March 7, 2023
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Petroleum Popper

The Petroleum Popper is a move usually done on cute, adorable (and consenting) males with big, blue eyes and the most squeezable cheeks. To perform the Petroleum Popper,

you need:
- a wall
- 1 large glass on raw honey
- a Jakub
- Petroleum
- some dextrous fingers (3 is enough)
And that’s it!
First, find a suitable Jakub that fits the aforementioned description. Next, take your Jakub and strip any clothes off (after asking for consent of course). Then pour your raw honey over the entire Jakub, leaving no skin in the open air. An optional addition; you can pour a large dollop of honey down the crack for visual pleasure. Now, my favourite part! Throw that hunk of endearing, 2 beautiful buns babe at a large wall. Quick note, make sure the Jakub is facing away from you with arms and legs spread for easy access. Now do as you wish! I’ve noticed my Jakub perks up a little smile when I slap his buns silly and get my face all up in his chleba! When trying to stick large bad dragons into the behind of the Jakub, make sure to cover the tip to base in strawberry flavoured petroleum jelly. This goes for all Jakubs. Why so specific? I’m trying to find that out myself.
Boostna: Lachit! You should’ve seen the Petroleum Popper I gave to Jakub last night! We’ve upgraded from a 5 inch wide bad dragon to a 12!!!
Bro: Wow, man. my Jakub can barely fit a 3 finger fisting.
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Pubes for Petroleum

A non-profit organization that encourages others to shave their pubic hair and give it to BP or Kevin Costner to help with the Flaming Verizon Sanchez clean-up.
On June 10, 2010 Robin Williams donated 14 bushells of hair to Pubes for Petroleum by shaving his balls.
by pubesforpetrolem June 17, 2010
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