A disease that afflicts me and made me think for 3 years of my life that my left leg was longer than my right leg. Every time my phone rings I think it is the FBI. And every time my doorbell rings I think it is a giant purple dinosaurs that eats children.
by William Stephens May 15, 2006
by Bennisanarchy February 29, 2008
The condition of someone being frantically suspicious/cautious or intensely emo and shut-in.
This mental instability usually occurs when the victim is in small groups or alone.
A person who is paranoid may very well be convinced that they're being watched by a wide assortment of imaginary figures &/or "real" people.
Imaginary figures may include, but are not limited to:
ninjas, pirates, zombies, the FBI, aliens, shonen bat, pokemon, "nothing", cats in the ceiling, snow monsters, ghosts, demons, and/or secret organizations.
"Real" people may include a creepy old person you saw at the supermarket, that veteran who sits on the bench across that street, your uncle, the police, the FBI, joggers, TLA's(three-letter-agencies), your other uncle, gangsters(or gangstahz), black people, street bums, local, national, or international gangs, and Paranoia support groups.
Many fears can easily stem directly from paranoia. Contrary to popular belief, the fear of the dark is also a byproduct of paranoia.
This mental instability usually occurs when the victim is in small groups or alone.
A person who is paranoid may very well be convinced that they're being watched by a wide assortment of imaginary figures &/or "real" people.
Imaginary figures may include, but are not limited to:
ninjas, pirates, zombies, the FBI, aliens, shonen bat, pokemon, "nothing", cats in the ceiling, snow monsters, ghosts, demons, and/or secret organizations.
"Real" people may include a creepy old person you saw at the supermarket, that veteran who sits on the bench across that street, your uncle, the police, the FBI, joggers, TLA's(three-letter-agencies), your other uncle, gangsters(or gangstahz), black people, street bums, local, national, or international gangs, and Paranoia support groups.
Many fears can easily stem directly from paranoia. Contrary to popular belief, the fear of the dark is also a byproduct of paranoia.
Pirate nerd in a dark hallway: "It's just a bunch of ninjas... it's just a bunch of ninjas!!! Goddamn sneaky bastards!!!"
Paranoia Guy: "Those damn black people are trying to jump me!!!"
Non-Paranoid Guy: "Dude, they're on a Television show, calm down."
Emo Phillips: "I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code."
FBI: "We are not watching your every movement, Mr.Alex Beresnev of Columbia, Maryland."
Paranoia Guy: "Those damn black people are trying to jump me!!!"
Non-Paranoid Guy: "Dude, they're on a Television show, calm down."
Emo Phillips: "I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo. In morse code."
FBI: "We are not watching your every movement, Mr.Alex Beresnev of Columbia, Maryland."
by 8ofSpades February 10, 2010
A condition you get when playing Team Fortress 2 too much because the enemy team always had a spy or two.
Xenonox: I think African Jezus is still around here somewhere.
King Frosting: Nah. He's not using the spy anymore. You've got paranoia.
King Frosting: Nah. He's not using the spy anymore. You've got paranoia.
by African Jezus February 07, 2009
by WEHATEYOUFUCKOFF September 02, 2008
Somewhat common personality disorder. Symptoms include not trusting people, holding grudges with ease, and taking jokes much too seriously.
Pros: No one can get you! Muahaha!
Cons: Hard to talk to people without you thinking they're gonna get you.
Pros: No one can get you! Muahaha!
Cons: Hard to talk to people without you thinking they're gonna get you.
by Zton February 01, 2016
by paranoid writer July 29, 2004