owns 

v: Possessing a deed to one's ass

Hamburglar: "Come robble my knobble."

"That statement owns meh"

owns by Gohei February 26, 2004

owns ponies 

The term describes something that is exceptional, or awesome. It is derived from "pwn" which is ultimate nerd internet ownage. To own ponies is to do something amazing or be amazing.

The reverse of this, sucking, is to "blow ponies".

"She let me get to third base on the first date! Third base totally owns ponies!"

owns ponies by Sexjelly October 28, 2007

owns a boat 

to have a small penis

Liz: I found out Bill has a small penis.

Brittany: How do you know? He doesnt own a porsche or anything.

Liz: I was at the dock the other day and I saw that he owns a boat.

owns a boat by Pimp Shizzle June 18, 2009

owns my face

The highest state of ownage, because your face is all you have. Can be positive or negative.

Oh God, this new, unreleased Coheed & Cambria owns my fucking face!

owns my face by MoonKnight September 1, 2003

Owns Heads 

1)If something owns heads it is supposedly really good, sublime even.
2) ...delivers the Murkle Circle
3) beats/owns people
4) ...opens a can of whoop-ass on your head

Eating an apple everyday owns heads
Whoa, Joe delivered the Murkle Circle to that guy naaamean

Owns Heads by Twomps February 15, 2006

owns my ass 

the phrase you use to describe your sexual attraction to a (older) celebrity.

OMG! Scott Caan is so hot... he owns my ass!

owns my ass by wedonthavekangaroosinaustria July 19, 2018

Owns the cake

When something is so good, it doesn't just TAKE the cake, it owns it.

Unlike Emily, Andrea does not own the cake.

Chocolate cake totally owns the cake.

Owns the cake by Emily Duffin April 15, 2008