Montreal Steam Pocket

Now, this sexual move is very hard to accomplish. Trust me, I've only gotten in correctly twice and I've had much practice...if you're sexually inexperienced you may as well stop reading now because this explicit information will not suit you in this lifetime...ok, the Montreal Steam Pocket must start when you've got a full load...meaning you have to shit, have to piss, and haven't made romance explosion in at least two weeks. Also you need a very willing female that loves cock and shit and piss and cum. Now, if you can get all that in one place pat yourself on the back, you're doing good so far...Step 1.(show her who's boss) the first step in this difficult process is to show that bitch who's boss...the very first thing you have to do is place your phallus into the female rear entry using margarine as lubricant, this will cause for a slightly diry, yet very scrumptious event. whilst inside, you must unload your bladder into her shit-sack. some will come pouring back, but before it does, you have to quickly assume the position under her squatting body as to collect the dripping urine back into your own mouth...then swallow. this won't be pleasant for the female, she'll know who's boss. step 2.(make love not war) contrary to popular thought, romance explosion doesn't always need to happen at the end of sexual endeavor. what you do in step two is to unleash contents of your teste-sack into a glass of milk 3/4 full. Don't let her see you doing this, she won't like it...then act as if your sexual sexy time is already done by offering the glass of warm milk. depending on the flavor of your semen, she might not even notice!!! try to get this step on tape... step 3. (takin the browns to the superbowl) well really its not the superbowl, but close enough. for step 3. see Alabama Hot Pocket. However, don't use all of your shit. you need some for step 4... step 4.(spread that doodoo butter) in step four, you spread that doodoo butter...take a nice girthy shit all over them tits and smear it all around! she may like this. try spreading some also in and around her armpits...step 5.(there's yeast in my potatoes!) make some mashed potatoes and insert it into thine vaginal crevice via wooden spoon (a ladle may be necessary). post-injection, you want to ram lots of cock up into that pussy making it extremely uncomfortable for the female...she really won't like trying to fish out all those potatoes and shit afterward. step 6. (land the aircraft) step six is quite nasty. you need to cover your junk in the shit you spread on her tits. get it on there thoroughly...then depending on the 'freakiness' of your gal-pal. you may want a blindfold so she's not expecting the first mouthful of shit-covered cock...its a sick job but it needs to be done...spoon feed her the shit with your cock until its alllll gone. Have fun attempting the Montreal Steam Pocket...by the way, it got its name when Bill Murray, during a Montreal Expos game, met up with some chick in the Canadian bathroom and created this (1988).

"Dude, I gave Gertrude a mean Montreal Steam Pocket last night!"

"Oh yeah? she like it?"

"No...She died from it"

:(

by ready or not here i cum July 20, 2009

The Montreal Screwjob

a wrestling based sexual position,

during sexual intercourse sneakily perform the sharp shooter,. et al Bret Hart(wwe) remember no tap outs,. snapped ankles for ultimate orgasm, warning: will result in 13 years of pent up sexual frustration

"yeah i gave her the montreal screwjob she didnt tap out"

"i completly vince mcmahoned her"

by professor chaos/ ireland March 29, 2010

Montreal Screw Job

Amy sexual act involving three different participants, where one of the three is duped or tricked into a compromising or embarrassing situation during climax by the other two people.

The two of us tied her up and banged her brains out. As soon as we finished we stole her wallet and peed in her purse. It was a real Montreal Screw Job.

by CHYNAisPretty November 13, 2012

Montreal Salute

The act of plugging one nostril and blowing one's nose directly into the air.

We're out of tissues, you'll just have to give the ol' Montreal Salute.

by Dick Tardly July 26, 2023

montreal smoked meat

Divine and holy spiritual objects that Montrealers like to eat with their poutine (as does the rest of Canada)

"Man Montreal Smoked Meat goes down so nice with a can of beer eh"

by gimme the money December 8, 2015

montreal smoked meat

An extreamly floppy vagina

man , that chick has some montreal smoked meat

by hey1122333445 January 23, 2009

montreal steak spice

Seasoning for the stuff that your wife makes you that you love. Better seasoning than salt and pepper.

"Hand over the salt and pepper"

"Sorry I replaced my salt and pepper with montreal steak spice"

"That's even better, I love you man, but not in a gay way"

by gimme the money December 8, 2015