molester mustache

the pathetic pre-pubescent mustache with only a few hairs. This look is typically sported by white trash, lazy stoner high schoolers (or anyone too lazy to shave), kids trying to impress girls with their peach fuzz and OF COURSE, child molesters.

see: crustache; peach fuzz

Dude, nice molester mustache... ever heard of shaving?

by Ümbra May 25, 2004

Molester Moon

An emoji that looks like a moon. If you send this emoji three times to someone via text, then that person will get a message from Molester Moon describing their death in other emojis. For example, if you sent it to your friend and then Molester Moon sent them a chicken, a monkey, two red balloons, and an explosion. Somehow they will die like this. If you are sent these three emoji moons and recieve the way of how you're gonna die, Molester Moon will then visit you in the night and kill you as you were described. He normally shouts "I'm gonna molest you!....Here I come!" multiple times in a row. Molester Moon in real life is as tall as a human but very round, for he is a moon, and he has arms and legs. If you hide in your room and he can't get in because of how big he is, then he'll just leave.
To find out more about Molester Moon, visit Smosh.com or watch their video entitled "Molester Moon" to find out their story about Molester Moon.

Person 1: (sends three moon emojis) Ha! Now you're gonna die!
Person 2: Oh no!!! Molester Moon's gonna find me!
Later that night
*Molester Moon sends this to person one*
"☀ ☁ ☔ ⛄ ⚡ 🌀 🌂 🌙 🌟"
Person 2: Oh god, I'm gonna die from severe weather storms and then an umbrella's gonna shove a moon and star up my ass!!!!!
Molester Moon: I'm gonna molest you! Here I come!
Person 2: NOOOOOO
*person 2 dies*

by MOLESTERMOONBEEYETCH January 21, 2014

molester mustache

a rail-thin mustache; usually on 26-45 year-old sex offenders who have finished puberty but by the looks of their 'stache, you would think that they just began puberty. they do not have to be sex offenders, but those who are not guilty of the crime tend to shave it off at the sight of the thinness above their lip

Person A: "Hey, look at that guy's mustache. He's old, but it's growing in a 13-year old's would."

Person B: "That pervert has a molester mustache"

by Pimp Turtles May 27, 2007

molester stache

A gnarly, unkept moustache typically sported by child molesters, hillbillies, and convicted fellons.

The camp counselor sporting the molester stache was not introduced to the parents on orientation day, for fear that they would object to his being near their children.

by TimmyVD April 30, 2007

molester aura

intangible, but ever-present vibe that surrounds someone who's just-not-right, in that way.

Sabrina: "The guy sitting in front of me at the airport looks like he rapes children with fire pokers. Yeah, I am judging this guy and you would too 'cause he is filled with molester aura."

by sandspit December 26, 2009

molester fingers

Same as rapist fingers. Swollen, fat appendages used for no good.

L:"Morgan, can you turn in your paper?"
M:"Well, I could try..."
L:"What do you mean?"
M:"Well, I hav--"
L:"MOLESTER FINGERS?! GROSS!"

by Mrs. L February 7, 2006

Molester Moustache

A sadistically thick moustache stretched across and limply hanging to the side of the grinning maw of a white man, preferably one that drives a van with no windows.

Damn, that dude rocks the molester moustache like R-Kelly at a Girl Scout Camp.

by Penguin July 22, 2003