Masturbating

Is what I’m doing now ;)

I’m still masturbating bitchez

by It’s true bitches October 28, 2018

illegitimate masturbating

1. what jesus is said to have condemned as the greatest sin to be commited as "it is wasting thy knuckle children into a sock only to be put into the bottom ov a hamper."

2. what is done on a daily basis in the white house

3. learning algebra

4. sharing files on frostwire

i gotta go do some illegitimate masturbating

by incipitsathanas October 19, 2009

The masturbating ninja technique

When a gentlemen decides to enter the masturbatory stage of his day, he may decide to deploy the homo sapien style (standing up) only to realize his t-shirt drops down into penile range. To avoid ejaculate or any lubratory means being transferred onto ones personnel, the ninja technique is engaged by whipping the front flap of the t-shirt over the head to create a warm, stylish, and protective measure against the army of unbelievable stickiness.

Policeman 1: "We found this fine young lad frozen to death here in the arctic tundra'.
Policeman 2: "It looks like he's been out here for weeks and missed the warm soothing touch of a woman, and decided to literally take matters into his own hands".
Policeman 1: "Correctomundo. If only he had a mentor to teach him the ways of the masturbating ninja technique, he might have pulled through".
Policeman 2: "Hey! Yeah that's true. If only he kept his shirt flipped over his head with his shoulders covered instead of taking it completely off, he'd still be here today".
Policeman 1: "Poor, poor, uninformed bastard".

by dirk digglett March 31, 2015

MMSturbating

The act of pleasing yourself using an MMS picture on your mobile phone sent by someone else.

I'm glad we've moved on to sexting each other. I was getting tired of MMSturbating to your picture.

by BiGBOY RJ December 16, 2009

masturbathing

The act of jacking off while in the shower.

Why were you taking so long in the shower?

Oh, I just got done masturbathing.

by cabbage206 August 15, 2009

caught masturbating

Being made to feel shame and humiliation for something that every one else does.

Jill was caught masturbating in her dorm room, and her friends will never let her forget about it.

by Jill VanDeLay September 30, 2003

Masturbating

Something we all do but are too afraid to admit it. If you think that I'm lying when saying we all do it, then take a look at the stats: 40 million Americans consider themselves regular visitors to porn sites.

"I just masturbated," said Creepy Clyde.
OR
"I love masturbating," explained someone.

by Where the frogs February 26, 2017