Kristofer

That one friend that somehow knows everything about history, science, math, and computers. Literally took 462,000 lasers to the face at once without moving, but put him in a conversation with the opposite sex and he runs away faster than you can sea. Never knows if he's being charming or being an ass. Doesn't care. Could kill you in 40 different ways if you give him the chance.

Kristofer: Actually, the 10th digit of pi is 5.
Girl: *walks up*
Friend: Oh hey (insert girl name here)! How are ya?
Girl: Fine, just need some help with my Algebra, but I don't think Kristofer's here today.
Friend: What? Don't be- oh holy shit.
Kristofer: *running* nopenopenopenopenopenopenopenope
Friend: There he goes.

by Red-Kun September 5, 2016

Flag

Get the Kristofer mug.

kristofer x mathea

a magical ship between these 2 people that are meant to be.

girl 1- omg!!!! I ship it!!!
girl 2- who??
girl 1- Kristofer and Mathea!!!!! Kristofer x mathea

by thetrueuser November 26, 2016

Flag

Get the kristofer x mathea mug.

Kristofer Hunter

Bootleggers and Xanax for breakfast.

Don’t be a Kristofer hunter, especially at noon.

by Annonymous <3 January 29, 2022

Flag

Get the Kristofer Hunter mug.

Kristofer

A man with a huge cock and likes squeezing boobies with his bare ass cheeks

Tom has a small Willy and oversized balls but kristofer has huge testicles and a nice cock

by Tomhasasmallwilly April 9, 2019

Flag

Get the Kristofer mug.

Kristofer

Obviously, really really ridiculously ugly, a person with no friends, no social life and a particularly gargantuan penis.

(Which promotes his sexual life.)

Goes best with chocolate and whipped cream.

Watch out for stray hairs.

God, Kristofer's such a loser but he has such an extremely large penis that he gets laid more often than a bed at a mattress store.

by gorillagirl69 February 21, 2010

Flag