The Family Friendly version of the O SHIT GRIP, HOLY SHIT GRIP, O SHIT HANDLE. During certain driving conditions involving specific drivers, the word "Jesus" is typically screamed by the passenger(s) in the vehicle. They are also custom handle wraps available for any vehicle.
by BEST GRIPS. EVER. July 29, 2019
Get the Jesus Handle mug.Jesus Hands is when a guy and a girl are making out and the girl grabs the guys dick while they are still making out and holds it for a short amount of time and then begins to stroke. Its like Jesus in every stroke
by Omega GayLord July 15, 2010
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Much like a regular "handle" of liquor, a Jesus-handle is any quantity greater than 1.75 L of top-tier liquor. It is a colloquial for people who avoid the Godless metric system, and believe that sermons are best preached from atop a bar-stool.
by rhinofeeder January 22, 2012
Get the Jesus-Handle mug.A Jesus handshake is when someone spits on a cock then sucks it passionately while jacking it off and rubbing the balls. Once the man cums, they smear the cum all over the hands and rub it in their face then rub the cock on their eyes.
by Cosmiccun7 December 13, 2022
Get the Jesus Handshake mug.Term for the handle above the pasengers head on a car that can be used for hanging coats, but more often grabbed at times when your firend is driving whaaaay to fast.
by Zippyvr6 April 9, 2009
Get the Jesus Christ Handles mug.The magical North American Christian theocracy whose citizenry have given George Bush a second term in office not because of his "accomplishments", but because of his blatant religious fundamentalism and exaggerated 1950s-era "family values." It is bordered by the Blue States and Canada to the west, north, and northeast; Mexico to the south, and the Atlantic to the east.
In Jesusland, "family values" and religious beliefs are the only things considered when voting for President. Even if the candidate is a corrupt scumbag with one hand in the oil industry's pants and the other shoving a dildo up the collective ass of the middle-class.
by Ninja Disaster November 4, 2004
Get the Jesusland mug.A place where most(not all, fortunately) of the population consists of narrow-minded white Southern Baptists who got Bush a second term due entirely on his neo-evangelical "family values" he preached about in his 2004 presidential campaign that basically promoted religious bigotry and intolerance toward gays and Jews, along with policing womens' rights and deeming other religions as "inappropriate", while disregarding Bush's other plans which would throw this country into a further decay.
Jesusland also, coincidently, consists almost entirely of all the land where slavery used to be legal back in the 1800s.
Residents of Jesusland who voted against Bush often find themselves persecuted for supporting, in the words of their oppressors, "Godless, amoral, fag-loving baby-killers" once they say anything negative about him.
Jesusland also, coincidently, consists almost entirely of all the land where slavery used to be legal back in the 1800s.
Residents of Jesusland who voted against Bush often find themselves persecuted for supporting, in the words of their oppressors, "Godless, amoral, fag-loving baby-killers" once they say anything negative about him.
by Pyro April 1, 2005
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