A conglomerate constructed entirely of cardstock, glitter, and Keepsake ornaments. Hallmark's main goal is to perpetuate Christmas year-round, so it's four quarters are labeled as follows: Almost Christmas, Christmas, Still Christmas, and Valentine's Day. Among it's many schemes for holiday perpetuation are things such as: three (3) separate keepsake ornament events (the first of which occurs in July), constant, nagging reminders to customers to begin stocking up on cards for Christmas (beginning sometime around August), and the unnecessarily long "post-holiday sale" that runs right up to the beginning of Valentine's Day.
Since Christmas provides such a large part of Hallmark's revenue, it feels the need to begin releasing it's prized Keepsake Ornaments in early July, just as most people are finally beginning to put the horror of the previous holiday behind them. Thus, "Almost Christmas" begins, moving smoothly into "Christmas" sometime around mid-October. "Still Christmas" begins directly after New Years and runs until February 14th and often beyond, so "Still Christmas" and "Valentine's Day" often overlap.
Valentine's Day, which is the lesser of Hallmark's insidiously overdone holidays, fills in the gap between Still Christmas and Almost Christmas nicely while still managing to fill the duel purpose of guilting men into showering the objects of their affections with glittery cards, fluffy teddy bears, and heart-shaped boxes of chocolate.
Since Christmas provides such a large part of Hallmark's revenue, it feels the need to begin releasing it's prized Keepsake Ornaments in early July, just as most people are finally beginning to put the horror of the previous holiday behind them. Thus, "Almost Christmas" begins, moving smoothly into "Christmas" sometime around mid-October. "Still Christmas" begins directly after New Years and runs until February 14th and often beyond, so "Still Christmas" and "Valentine's Day" often overlap.
Valentine's Day, which is the lesser of Hallmark's insidiously overdone holidays, fills in the gap between Still Christmas and Almost Christmas nicely while still managing to fill the duel purpose of guilting men into showering the objects of their affections with glittery cards, fluffy teddy bears, and heart-shaped boxes of chocolate.
Woman One: "I'm headed to Hallmark to get some birthday cards. Do you want to come?"
Woman Two: "Nah, I'm not in the mood for Christmas stuff right now."
Woman One: "It's July, I think you're safe."
Woman Two: "Well... alright..."
Sales Associate: *as they walk into the store* "Welcome to Ornament Premiere! All of our new Christmas Keepsake Ornaments have just come out for the year!"
Woman Two: *faints*
Woman Two: "Nah, I'm not in the mood for Christmas stuff right now."
Woman One: "It's July, I think you're safe."
Woman Two: "Well... alright..."
Sales Associate: *as they walk into the store* "Welcome to Ornament Premiere! All of our new Christmas Keepsake Ornaments have just come out for the year!"
Woman Two: *faints*
by taekwondoangel1 July 18, 2009
Get the Hallmark mug.The brilliant battle tactic employed by Commander William "Husker" Adama in the 3rd season episode "Exodus pt. 2" of the reimagined Battlestar Galactica series. In a bold attempt to rescue the human colonists on New Caprica, Adama jumps the Galactica into the atmosphere directly above the settlement, causing it to "drop like a rock." This lets them by-pass Cylon orbital defenses. Just before hitting the ground, the ship launches a squad of vipers right before jumping back out into orbit again. The Galactica takes heavy damage as it shoots like a fiery comet toward the ground, but the tactic pays off and enables the colonists to escape the planet's surface.
Cylon child: Mommy mommy! I had a nightmare that a battlestar was falling from the sky in a ball of flames and it was spitting out planes like bullets and the world was coming to an end and then suddenly....it was gone. And the smoke in the sky seemed to spell out "Husker Hailmary."
Cylon parent: Don't worry sweetheart. Spaceships can't do those things and there isn't a commander in the universe who could ever pull off a stunt like that. Or is there?
Cylon parent: Don't worry sweetheart. Spaceships can't do those things and there isn't a commander in the universe who could ever pull off a stunt like that. Or is there?
by Mr. Crumbles October 23, 2006
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1. Over dramatic and obvious statement spewing.
-Commonly associated with the movies and actors of the Hallmark Channel.
2. An over dramatic person
-Commonly associated with the movies and actors of the Hallmark Channel.
2. An over dramatic person
"My Dad was acting very hallmarky today after watching the stock market drop and continued to act the same when he switched to the Hallmark Channel."
"Be careful, It's cold." (From a Hallmark movie in which a man jumps into water while it's snowing and the women screams the above statement.)
"Be careful, It's cold." (From a Hallmark movie in which a man jumps into water while it's snowing and the women screams the above statement.)
by Rob MJ December 6, 2011
Get the Hallmarky mug.An ultra-cheesy movie that is shown on the Hallmark Channel; They usually are about Christmas and almost always have bad acting, a forgetable plot, scenes that are meant to make the viewer cry and they always have a happy ending.
You know it's Christmas time when the Hallmark Channel starts broadcasting a Hallmark Channel Original Movie that is related to Christmas.
by Cerebrate 1138 July 21, 2016
Get the Hallmark Channel Original Movie mug.One who is white, tall, with blue eyes and a 5’oclock shadow, who is there to swoop your girl off her feet. Usually a good’ol small town country boy or a big city businessman.
by Hallmark fans unified December 14, 2018
Get the hallmark hot mug.a subsiduary of Mills & Boon, perpetuating the myth of love in order to create profits from bleeding hearts.
by li'l pill pig July 30, 2006
Get the hallmark mug.The process of creating alternate, superfluous, or overly specific holidays in an attempt to sell more greeting cards.
by Jones.Dr.Jones February 14, 2012
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