When wimpy pencil-dicked possessive mama's boy types cling to their girlfriend in public, eyes always looking around, holding hands, grabbing ass, any way to let everyone know his woman is "taken." Really a turnoff to women and makes guys like me laugh behind their backs.
by running out of patience May 8, 2009
Get the mink guarding mug.A job that requires absolutely no skill or talent, except for a complete lack of self-respect. Usually the kind of job one seeks after being fired from distributing flyers for a porno theater.
The term is derived from an episode from The Simpsons where Mr. Smithers, desperate for a job after being fired by Mr. Burns, inquires after a Help Wanted sign at Moe's. The job is pretty simple: distract Barney Gumbel until the midnight beer delivery is safely transacted. According to Homer, it's a job that many of them have only contemplated in the darkest moments of their lives.
The term is derived from an episode from The Simpsons where Mr. Smithers, desperate for a job after being fired by Mr. Burns, inquires after a Help Wanted sign at Moe's. The job is pretty simple: distract Barney Gumbel until the midnight beer delivery is safely transacted. According to Homer, it's a job that many of them have only contemplated in the darkest moments of their lives.
Bill: Yo, how'd the job hunt go?
Evan: Terrible. I had to take an internship to a fishmonger.
Bill: Man, that's a Barney-guarding job.
Evan: I know. I think I'm going to bed. Don't bother me.
Evan: Terrible. I had to take an internship to a fishmonger.
Bill: Man, that's a Barney-guarding job.
Evan: I know. I think I'm going to bed. Don't bother me.
by ChrisJLee March 9, 2007
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Kid 1: I'm not moving until you leave the safe zone.
Kid 2: No goose-guarding!
Kid 1: Okay, fine! I'll just run around the whole court until you leave then instead.
Kid 2: No goose-guarding!
Kid 1: Okay, fine! I'll just run around the whole court until you leave then instead.
by Deepecologist October 26, 2018
Get the Goose-guarding mug.When a person guards a "safe" or "base" spot during a game of tag, forcing the person at the base to get tagged when they come out.
by Daniela K October 29, 2006
Get the puppy guarding mug.To be forced to sleep on the couch.
An old technique used by married couples as a means of punishment.
An old technique used by married couples as a means of punishment.
by Robert Michael Hensel April 12, 2008
Get the Couch guarding mug.Motor boating a female or females for an extended period of time. Usually after hours and with women who have large breasts.
Dude, I was Coast Guarding last night with those chicks from the party. I wish I had a life preserver...
by EdwinNoses November 5, 2012
Get the Coast Guarding mug.1.) Defending, through acts of aggressive trolling, the internet websites and facebook pages where an inordinately large number of conspiracy theorists and other wackos make comments like, "U suck an yor sight is a peace of shit and ur mothas a cunt." Usually the act of bridge-guarding requires the talents of a persistent and eloquent troll who has the ability to spell correctly, thus intimidating his subject victims merely by the fact that said subject victims have an inferiority complex due to their lack of education and their usually abysmal intellectual shortcomings. A troll who engages in bridge-guarding must be merciless but also must recognize when one of his subject victims may be about to commit suicide or harm others -- at which time the ethical bridge-guard will link to a national suicide hotline phone number and a website advocating for the treatment of mental health problems. 2.) the act of preventing a loved one's boyfriend from taking the loved one out for a night of binge drinking for the purpose of committing date rape, usually accomplished by punching the potential assailant as hard as possible in his groin and telling him, "When she comes home, if she's not sober and pleased with your gentlemanly conduct, I'm going to kill you, cut your head off, and drop you off a bridge and into a river." (An almost universally successful technique).
Asshole #1: Dude, I totally got bridge-guarded by her father last night!
Asshole #2: Too bad ... I was totally lookin' forward to fuckin' her brains out while she was unconscious.
Asshole #3: Yeah ... let's go post some comments on the CDC's Facebook page about how we think Obama is bringing Ebola into America.
Asshole #1: Fuck that. That chick's father is bridge-guarding that site ... and he always makes fun of my conspiracy theories and then puts up a link to Merriam-Webster's website and the National Suicide Hotline. That dude is TOTALLY fucking crazy and DANGEROUS! trolling cock-blocking
Asshole #2: Too bad ... I was totally lookin' forward to fuckin' her brains out while she was unconscious.
Asshole #3: Yeah ... let's go post some comments on the CDC's Facebook page about how we think Obama is bringing Ebola into America.
Asshole #1: Fuck that. That chick's father is bridge-guarding that site ... and he always makes fun of my conspiracy theories and then puts up a link to Merriam-Webster's website and the National Suicide Hotline. That dude is TOTALLY fucking crazy and DANGEROUS! trolling cock-blocking
by THE DOOMED STUFFING November 3, 2014
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