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Goldfish

The purest little animals that swim around in large cuboids filled with water. When it comes to goldfish, opinions are rather polarising - there are really only two types of people: those who have an undying love and experience monomania towards those creatures, and those who openly dislike them as think that they're boring little lumps that open and close their mouths.

Far too often, they are portrayed in unfunny Youtube videos as memeable and clumsy things who only exist for the human race to laugh at.

its time to stop.
Far too often, goldfish are treated as though they're nothing more than entities that exist for us to laugh at.
by tapulele May 6, 2020
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goldfish slap

A goldfish slap is the act of pulling out a flaccid penis and slapping it on the back of an unsuspecting persons neck, then yelling "Goldfish".
While Natasha was eating her sandwich at the picnic ,Tyrone crept up behind her and Goldfish slapped her.

Dude I totally goldfish slapped Rebecca in Math class
by Mac Brown Town November 3, 2017
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Goldfish guy

(Hong Kong slang) a child molester, a pedophile. The pedophile would try to coax and abduct a child by promising him with the purchase of some goldfish. Hence, the term , ‘goldfish guy’.

It was inspired by a real case in the 70's
If you pat a random child on the head , you might be suspicious of being a goldfish guy
by Tanghot July 28, 2017
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I have a goldfish

girl - "I have a boyfriend."

guy - "I have a goldfish."

girl - "what?"

Guy - "Oh I thought we were talking about stuff that didn't matter."
by sherm stick 90 March 16, 2010
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Duad Goldfish

the biggest most toxic player in league of legends. if you meet a duad goldfish be extremely careful not to trigger him, as he will flame the living shit out of you
Duad Goldfish: "WHY DIDNT YOU TANK FOR ME YOU FUCKING SHIT OMG"
Me: "LUL"
by hehe xd123 May 24, 2017
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sandal-wearing goldfish tenders

The term used by Mr Burns's grandfather to describe the Japanese in the season four episode of 'The Simpsons': 'Last Exit to Springfield'
The Japanese! Those sandal-wearing goldfish tenders!
by brwhizz May 23, 2009
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goldfish

Someone with an extremely short memory, or one who is extremely absentminded.

Derives from the evolutionary defense mechanism of the American Goldfish in order to stave off insanity due to boredom: "wow look at that pretty plastic tree"... "wow look at that pretty plastic tree"... "wow look at that pretty plastic tree"
"Damn...That Sue never learns... She just does the same dumb shit over and over again like a goldfish."
by SueLowe October 9, 2005
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