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fasturbation

rapid sexual self gratification performed during a period of religious abstinence or in-between normal business hours.
im too busy to masturbate i can only manage fasturbation until this workload lets/lents up
by insomniacal maniac September 1, 2009
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ficsturbation

"That fic induces ficsturbation!"
by Sunnan April 28, 2016
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Foxturbation

Noun - The act of watching FOX News to obtain talking points which justify one's racist gut inclinations.
This morning, during "Executive Time", President Trump honed his skills of Foxturbation for three hours straight.
by Anyone Buttrump May 10, 2018
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Faceturbation

When someone likes his own status/photo/comment on Facebook.
Johnny: Feeling lonely tonight, think it's a good time for a little faceturbation..

*likes* *unlikes* *likes* *unlikes* *likes* *unlikes* AHHHHH *facegasm*

*mom comes in*

Johnny: OHHH GOD MOM I CAN EXPLAIN

Mom: What are you gonna explain, that you have no friends?
by pinkzeppelin09 December 27, 2011
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fasturbation

The act of not eating for atleast 24 hours, and then fapping as pay off.
"Gosh, I hate being a muslim, the only way to make fasting tolerable is by ye olde fasturbation motivation.
by titfacemcgee November 19, 2011
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Fasturbation

The competitive sport of masturbation. The first to ejaculate 1 tablespoon of their own semen is the victor. Cheaters have been known to inject large amounts of foreign semen into their vans deferens. The sport is especially popular among high school douchebags.
"Hey Dad, who won the Fasturbation World Spoon last night?"
"Dick Cox, but Mike Hawk was a close second."
by Pinguino November 3, 2012
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Filterbation

The act of placing your genitals within sufficient proximity to the filter jet which circulates the water in a pool in order to pleasure one's self.
Jeff hasn't moved from that spot along the side of the pool in over ten minutes, he must be filterbating. Filterbation is best accomplished when no one else is around...
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