Farmer's Nail

Farmer's Nail is to have one or more dirty finger nails and the dirt appears to be typical garden variety "dirt" or potting soil under the nails. However, Farmer's Nail is not regular dirt or soil but is actually feces which is accumulated under one or more finger nails as a direct result of either intentional fingering of a dirty shit plugged anus during a sexual act or from having one or more fingers slip through the toilet paper while wiping one's ass and getting ass dirt or fecal matter under the nails. Having Farmer's Nail does not mean that one did not wash their hands after an anal fingering or after slippage during a wipe job, just that one did not clean the feces from under their nails at the time of the wash job as they may not have known it was present. In most, but not all instances of Farmer's Nail, it is not left under the nail intentionally and is simply an oversight during the clean up process.

Farmer's Nail is also known as Mechanic's Nail which is more frequently used in the automotive industry.

Carl: Hi Gary. What have you been up to? From the looks of those fingers I would say you have been working in the garden this morning?
Gary: No I have not been in the yard working today. (Looking at nails) Oh No Bro. I had the worst Louisiana Tail Drop earlier this morning and made an absolute mess. I was wiping my sharted ass with both hands and my fingers kept slipping through the wet shat paper. Guess it got under the nails.
Carl: That is some nasty shit brahh! You got the worst case of Farmer's Nail I have ever seen. Go get a toothpick or a nail file and dig that shit out. Nasty.

by Eaton Holgoode April 13, 2014

farmer's mistress

Noun. A synonym for a sheep.

Person 1: I need some wool to make this sweater for my girlfriend, any ideas where I could get some?

Person 2: Try the farmer's mistress.

by MrCorrect1985 September 18, 2009

Farmer's Breakfast

A sexual act which involves the breaking of an egg into a partner's anal region, and subsequently consuming the contents with the mouth only.

I heard she gives an awesome Farmer's Breakfast. Scoops the yolk right outta there

by CletusDaDog June 11, 2010

farmer's bet

A bet where no wager is made. Originated within the Ukrainian farming community in northern Alberta who were well known for their penny-pinching ways.

Michael: I think it's going to rain.
Ken: Want to make a farmer's bet on that?
Michael: Sure, no loss to me!

by chillywilly69 July 19, 2012

farmer's handshake

1) A substantial handful (noun)

"Hey you guys ought to come over tonight. We got a brand new bong and a farmer's handshake of kine bud. We're about to get fucked up!"

by ItTollsForThee November 12, 2013

Farmer’s Hand

A tug job aka hand job given by someone with a calloused, rough hand.

I paid $5 to that homeless dude for a quick tug behind the dumpster. I got a farmer’s hand and man my dick is sore.

I hate my uncle’s farmer’s hand. I wish he would use some lotion.

by Eaton Holgoode August 8, 2018

Farmer's Daughter

Innocent looking girl, typically from Midwestern America. She seems innocent enough but in reality will try to have sex with as many people as possible. Watch out her dad WILL have a shotgun and WILL try to shoot you. If he doesn't kill you, her STD's will.

Geroge: Did you see Jessica's hot friend?
Tim: Yeah, she doesn't look like she'll put out though...
George: She totally does! She's a Farmer's Daughter!
Tim: Damn! You think Jessica's tapping that?

by Farmers_Helper October 11, 2010