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hipster enlightenment

n., a state of pure hipsterdom in which a hipster realizes that all things, including life itself, are mainstream and originality is a virtual impossibility
Hipster #1: "What happened to Alphonse?"
Hipster #2: "He died after achieving hipster enlightenment last week"
Hipster #1: "Death is so mainstream"
Hipster #2: "Original Hipster be praised!"
by Scottsifer July 9, 2011
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Question of enlightenment

A question asked by someone where said question causes a lot of thinking to occur, almost on a spiritual level. You'll know you're being hit with a question of enlightenment when it brings forth an extreme sensation of awe. These questions have been witnessed before in popular media, but the term has been left undefined until now. These questions help increase humanity's understanding of its' environment as well as itself.
Trevor in GTA5 once asked a vegan woman, "You don't eat meat by you'll eat c**k?". This is a very good example of a question of enlightenment. Another example not from media would be "how can a lesbian be a lesbian if they like strap on dildos?".
by Skanago:g January 8, 2017
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Post Ejaculatory Enlightenment

That moment of mental clarity that can only be achieved by 'blowing your load' or 'shooting your bolt'. A lot of honest internal dialogue can be had with yourself in these moments....shame it doesn't last very long.

AKA: P.E.E. / PE-Squared / P-Double-E
'Damn, last night I got post ejaculatory enlightenment..... and you're right...... she was a pig!'
by The Urban Keats November 9, 2007
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Enlightened Asshole

A thoughtful, compassionate individual whose words and / or actions are indistinguishable from those of a self-centered idiot.
EXAMPLE 1:
That guy is such an enlightened asshole sometimes! He calls himself a friend, but seems to think that it is funny that I am loosing my job at BP and will have to go back to teaching. I hate my job, but that doesn't mean that I was ready to look for another one!

EXAMPLE 2:
Every day when I get off work -- all I want is a cold beer or two, but my girlfriend has to ask shit like "Does beer really make you happy?"... sure it makes me happy... for about an hour... damn, she can be such an enlightened asshole sometimes.

EXAMPLE 3:
My vegetarian co-worker had point out that there was "dead animals" in my chinese chicken salad today -- that enlightened asshole ruined my appetite!

EXAMPLE 4:
(a statement which might be attributed to an enlightened asshole)
"Yes, the hurricane destroyed most of the city, but perhaps the survivors will have an opportunity to start fresh and make positive changes in their life."

EXAMPLE 5:
(a statement which might be attributed to an enlightened asshole)
"Littering is not bad... creating trash however is destroying the earth. Perhaps we should let trash fall on the streets rather than allowing it to be hidden inside trash bins and landfills. This would at least remind us all daily of the destruction we are taking part in."
by Guru Crossly August 29, 2012
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Enlightened Centrist

When someone claims to be a moderate or a centrist due to a belief that both sides of the political spectrum are unreasonable or extreme. Typically used in a negative connotation.
Person 1: I refuse to join a political party because the left and the right have BOTH gone insane!
Person 2: Oh God, you're such an enlightened centrist...
by BobraAnn February 1, 2021
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Enlightened

Someone who is well informed, without prejudices.
She's in enlightened state.
by Jafje May 25, 2007
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Dark Enlightenment

A diffuse, multifaceted movement intent upon darkening the door of the liberal commercial-democratic order ushered in by the Enlightenment. It is, by necessity and often also by preference, dissident. A common thread running through the disparate weavers of the DE fabric is the realization that the Enlightenment had a dark side and that the modes of thought and society that it steered us toward might lead ultimately to a dark place, an antithesis.
Some pithy things the Dark Enlightenment has to say regarding:

Gays--homophobia is not responsible for your astronomically high rates of suicide and drug abuse.

Feminists--there have historically been fewer female geniuses than men, and there always will be.

Black liberals--want to see a country looks like with no "white privilege"? Check out Liberia.

Neoconservatives--forcing democracy on inbred populations? At the barrel of a gun? Even my dog is smarter than that.

Asian men and black women--"society" isn't the only reason why you are considered less attractive by the opposite sex.

Education reformers--we all know why you never send your own kids to "diverse" urban schools.
by AudaciousEpigone May 15, 2014
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