a college student who majors in this can forget about his life, because there will be no more time to do anything besides study, and then drink to forget how fucked you are. Study and drinking, that's about it. Also, engineers are known to have no sleeping pattern because of numerous all-nighters. There should be an amendment to the constitution to add an entire point to any engineering student's GPA, as only then will the scale be fair to everyone.
Business major: what's your major?
Engineering major: engineering.
Business major: (gets a mental image of engineering major stabbing himself with pencils, not sleeping for 36 hours straight, and failing multiple classes. Yet the engineering major is still 4 times smarter than the business major.)
Engineering major: engineering.
Business major: (gets a mental image of engineering major stabbing himself with pencils, not sleeping for 36 hours straight, and failing multiple classes. Yet the engineering major is still 4 times smarter than the business major.)
by drew s January 3, 2008
Get the engineeringmug. Suppose you meet a girl in a park. She's riding a bike. Taking off all her clothes she screams 'Take whatever you want'
If you take the bike, you're an engineer.
If you take the bike, you're an engineer.
by perflubon February 2, 2004
Get the engineermug. A person capable of making things work in unfathomable and near-magical ways. Generally possesses extreme levels of mechanical aptitude plus a formal education including large doses of applied math, physics and chemistry which he actually understands. Can perform calculations without using a calculator. Often builds his own mechanical devices from loose parts for self-amusement. A modern day witch. Often has difficulty relating to people because ideas on new and better ways of doing things are constantly flooding into his/her mind. In many cases just bringing an engineer into a room containing broken equipment causes the equipment to start working again.
One day an engineer found himself at the pearly gates. St. Peter looked him up in the book, and found that he was destined for the other place. The engineer protested that this must be a mistake, and that he had lived a righteous life, going to church every week, being faithful to his wife etc. to no avail. About 6 weeks later God reviews the lists and realizes that the engineer has been sent to the wrong place. So he rings up Lucifer and demands that the engineer be sent up. Lucifer says NO WAY. This guy was the best thing to ever happen here. He's got the AC working, we have running water and cable now too, and next week he thinks we will get internet access and an ice cream machine. God is pissed and yelling says "I'll sue". Lucifer says LOL where are you going to get a lawyer and hangs up.
by Gunder January 30, 2007
Get the engineermug. 
Optimist: "The glass is half full."
Pessimist: "The glass is half empty."
Engineer: "The glass is twice the size it needs to be."
Pessimist: "The glass is half empty."
Engineer: "The glass is twice the size it needs to be."
by Destillat September 4, 2008
Get the engineermug. You: "Hey, wait here, I'mma go take a dump."
Friend: "Alright."
*5 minutes later*
Friend: "Dude..I was playing guitar with your amp and I noticed a parasitic capacitance between the output and the input, causing parasitic oscillation. So I really quickly soldered them a little further from eachother, so it shouldn't have any feedback anymore."
You: "Oh...uhhh... thanks?"
Friend: "Hey, I'm an engineer. It's what I do."
Friend: "Alright."
*5 minutes later*
Friend: "Dude..I was playing guitar with your amp and I noticed a parasitic capacitance between the output and the input, causing parasitic oscillation. So I really quickly soldered them a little further from eachother, so it shouldn't have any feedback anymore."
You: "Oh...uhhh... thanks?"
Friend: "Hey, I'm an engineer. It's what I do."
by IsraelHands09 September 18, 2010
Get the Engineermug. A kick-ass uber-genius with godly math and science abilities, the training for wich being at the expence of those abilities for spelling and talking to members of the opposite sex.
by Douglas Weltman June 22, 2003
Get the engineermug.