cotton tops

referring to a group of old ladies, generally with big white poufy hair.

That city bus is taking a grouop of cotton tops to the lunch buffet.

by Foxypook June 18, 2006

three fingered cotton top hat

The sexual act of inserting the three middle fingers into a vagina (or anus), through the underwear.

Mike's horny girlfriend asked him for a three fingered cotton top hat.

by shelfmonkey November 3, 2011

cotton-toucher

A turd that pokes out of your bunghole far enough to touch your drawers.

Man, do I need to toss a pooch -- I feel a cotton-toucher moving around down there!

by mangus July 1, 2005

cotton topper

Old People. Because their hair gets white (the color of cotton). “Toppers” for short.

We demolished a couple cotton toppers on the pickleball court today. They couldn’t keep up.

by anonymous December 25, 2021

touchin' cotton

A phrase used to describe that awkward moment when you have to dump so bad that the poop has actually exited your anus and is toucing your tighty whitey Hanes cotton underwear.

Andy: Hey Floyd, you gotta pull over. I have to take a dump.
Floyd: Can't you wait 10 more minutes!! We're almost there.
Andy: No Floyd, I can't wait!! I'm touchin' cotton!!!

by Twist Weeblow August 26, 2007

touch cotton

when a poop crowns out of the anus far enough to touch the underwear, thus soiling it.

"I thought I had my bowels under control, but I touched cotton on the sixth green and had to leave the round to go change."

by colonel Hogan May 13, 2003

touching cotton

the point at which your bowel movements are so strong that the turd has actually begun exiting the anus, therefor touching the cotton in your underwear

"lets hurry up and get to the bathroom, I've gotta shit so bad its touching cotton!"

by lauren April 25, 2004