calculus 

Calculus, which was discovered by Newton and Liebniz, nothwithstanding all credit being given to Newton, is one of the most beautiful forms of intellectual material. Calculus requires and emphasizes the development of new methods of thinking, and therefore it is not for the weak minded. Calculus has many practical applications including molecular and ecological biology, physics, engineering, social and political sciences, and business. After completing a very involved and thought-provoking problem involving differential equations or integrals, one might feel a certain "high."

Dude 1: "Yo man I got some bomb-ass shit that will fuck you up. Let's go blaze."
Dude 2: "Nah dude I got this problem for calc homework that involves differential equations and slope fields, and if I figure it out, my high will be stronger than the high off the strongest chronic"

calculus by nirvanarageatm December 17, 2004

Calculus 

Calculus is for anyone who ever complained that math isn't useful for anything. Calculus is a branch of mathematics that deals with problems involving changing rates. It has universal applications, finding its way into physics, engineering, medicine, economics, and anything that involves something changing. Calculus commands a great deal of notoreity from students learning it. But, like any form of mathematics, it is all pure logic, and if you understand it, it can be a very beautiful thing.

Newton and Leibniz both developed calculus on there own. Inventing calculus; now how fucking brilliant do you have to be to INVENT calculus? Pretty damn fucking brilliant.

Calculus by Fernando Martinez January 2, 2009

calculus 

Calculus is how we know everything about everything, except sex, maybe.

It is also a name for the page and a half of indecipherable foreplay used in university physics textbooks before they give you the formula for something.

Engineering student: I forgot the formula for the volume of a sphere, but I was able to figure it out from the area of a circle using calculus.
Non-engineering student: I looked in the back of the textbook.

calculus by Nick Bentzen April 11, 2008

Calculus 

A device thought up by the government to keep high school and college students feeling dumb and therefor keeping them from begining a rebellion.

1: "Down with our capitalist government! Viva la Resistance!"

2: "Sorry, dude. No can do... Failing calculus. Gotta study up."



1: "Mr. President, we feel this generation of high schoolers think they're smart enough to overthrow the government. What is our best course of action?"

2: "Hmm... Raise the national grading scale for calculus."

1: "Brilliant!"

Calculus by Andreios April 2, 2009

calculus 

the highest form of fuckery known to man. the reason for cracked out college students randomly combusting into a bucket of tears. the ultimate in mind fuckeration.

Why is that kid crying over there in the library at 4a.m.?
Calculus, man.

calculus by jwrigh January 5, 2015

Calculus 

The mathematical equivalent of saying "probably" "maybe" or "don't know" instead of "absolutely" "certainly" or "definately"

Mother: "Yes or no, did you rob from the bank?"

Son: "Um well, probably, maybe I don't know. I don't remember"

Mother: "I want a straight answer, yes or no!"

Son: "Yes or no in this case is the equivalent of an indeterminate form in the Calculus branch of mathematics, they are integer values. Do integer values actually exist in this universe as they are absolute values? I am merely coming as close to these inexplorable limits as possible by exploring derivatives and close values. In this case these would best be expressed as "probably" or "don't know."

Mother: *Facepalms*

Calculus by Tintintinny whatever February 24, 2011

Calculus 

Calculus is a cruel and hard mistress. No one wants to do her because no one CAN do her. Except Chuck Norris. He can do her. Calculus is easy for him.

"Dude, did you do your calculus homework last night?"
"... We didn't have homework?"
"Chuck tester."

Calculus by DrakeS26 January 5, 2012