cumpire

A being of either genders that attacks you ball sack, sinks their teeth in and slurps the delicious bounty.... before/during/after a blow job..

Scott Barry: Damn...my sack is killing me from lasts night date.
John McKinley: What the hell happened last night and why is your crotch bloody?
Scott B: Damnit...I knew it...that bitch was a cumpire...AND I LIKE IT!!!!
Mark Byers: Yeah!!!!

by Captain James Tiberius Kirk September 08, 2008

Cumpire

vampire obsessed individuals who cum over the thought of vampire related sex acts.

Cumpire1337: "Oh I love shooting my milk at the thought of a vampire sticking his teeth in my balls and sucking the sperms out!"

by Mr.Mysterious [oroginal] April 03, 2009

CUmpire

The sexualisation of an umpire within baseball

Sexually Confused Teen : God I would love to turn them into my little cumpire

by 4RG May 22, 2021

Cumpire

A gay baseball player. Doesn't actually have to be an umpire though.

Doug: Hey man, I just got a job cleaning the bases off at Whocares Stadium!

Justin: Cool, but bend with your knees when you're cleaning them.

Doug: Why?

Justin: Shawn O. Theded is on the team, and he's a cumpire!

Doug: Ho snap!

Ron Simmons: ....DAMN!!!!

by Doug and Justin.. Yeah.. May 19, 2007

Cumpire

Alternative title for a porn director. A Cumpire operates as an umpire would in sport, but they judge and officiate sex scenes, usually involving athletic environments and situations such as locker rooms, gym equipment, bleachers, water cooler, etc.

"I dunno, this porn's not really doing it for me."

"I know right? What was the cumpire thinking, making that call for the cheerleader and the jock?"

by Dallas Carmichael January 26, 2020

Cumpire

a woman who instead of feeding on the blood of random victims in order to stay "alive" chooses to subsist on the fresh thicm cum of countless random men

No man's cock was safe from the very.real pleasure waiting to consume their sperm when each harvest moon marked the return of the CUMPIRE

by Cumslut4life February 13, 2019