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A person who referees baseball games and enforces the rules; usually does not have a girlfriend because they are too busy fucking up games.
My brother, Brent: "Man, I need a girl. I've been invited to two weddings and I have no one to go with!"

Me: Girls don't dig umpires.
by SmartAssKate June 18, 2005
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2
the person who stays at the stash house and watches the drugs. usually cocaine/crack.
yea im the umpire i chill at the crib and watch the base.
by $pazz April 06, 2003
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3
In Australian Football, the person who runs around the field blowing a whistle and tries to tell the players what to do. They are usually born without any form of eyesight. aka White Maggots
Mate the umpires blind, he pinged me for holding the ball when I didn't have chance to get rid of it.

That umpire's a stupid White Maggot
by 2384 January 21, 2008
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5
Fat guy who wears blue in a baseball game and can’t make one right call in his life and as Blinde as a bat
Hey Look it’s an Umpire!!
by TheAmericanUrban June 19, 2018
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