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Birkenstock Exchange

The public trading of Birkenstocks Sandals. Buying and selling Birkenstocks typically takes place on the trading floor, which is usually Home Depot. When the market opens for exchange, the Birkenstock brokers who can be identified by their flannel shirts, handle all transactions for traders. The closing of the exchange is signaled by playing Melissa Etheridge's "Come to My Window"
Janet: I need new Sandals. I'm going to the Birkenstock Exchange.

Janine: Can you bring back some lumber so I can build a new garage?
by MindGrapes September 4, 2016
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Birkenstocks

Insanely comfortable shoes. Sandals or clogs are the typical occurence, however they do produce various other types. Worn by hippie and prep alike, lauded for their comfort by all. Everyone should own at least one pair.
Dude, I'm having feet orgasms right now due to my Birks!

Me too!
by 'rado December 13, 2004
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birkenstalker

An annoying, self-righteous hippie guy who will not stop calling you, even though you said to stop. What he doesn't understand is that just because he feels like he has great, liberating intentions, doesn't mean that you like him. His intentions may include expanding your minds together, telling you his philosophy, talking about you being a 'goddess' or something to get in your pants. Just because you have that one sari fabric sun dress does not mean you want to colonize India all over again with him and his vibes. He can't see why you don't want anymore jars of dandelions left for you on your doorstep. Because he feels he is on the purest spiritual path he thinks that that stalking behavior is part of Jah's or the Great Spirit's, or the universe's dance between men and women. He's creepy because its his "nature". May also be a megalomaniaphone about his guru who he read one book about.
Hey, want to go to the crystal shop, they are the only ones that carry that lip balm I like.

No way, you are on your own, that's where that birkenstalker works. I'll meet you at Starbucks.

Naw, you're right dude, let's skip it. He is such a megalomaniaphone at parties.

I know, but he does have that cute intellectual smokestack friend...

No way, that guy is an IntelliBruto
by fannyreer July 11, 2010
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Birkenstocks (birks)

berk - in - stoks

A brand of sandals known for their distinctive sole-patterning and arch support. Popluar for comfort and practicality, they are worn in all walks of life, but have a special place in lesbian culture as the "official" footwear of dykes worldwide.

* Wearing birks does not make you a lesbian--they are after all just sandals. But if you feel like waving a flag, a pair never goes awry.

** Maitenance: Seal the cork with contact cement to prolong life. You can get them re-corked and re-soled for less than half the original cost, so they can concieveably last forever.
"Hey, sweet Birkenstocks (birks). You don't break them in, they break you in."

"Hey, sweet Birkenstocks (birks). When did you come out?"
by mme bovary August 28, 2006
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Birkenstock Mafia

A seemingly loosely-knit group of lesbians on any and every online edifice for verbal war (i.e.: usenet, forums, online art communities) who, when one of them is even mildly insulted, will rain relentless hellfire upon the foolish, hapless mortal that seemingly made a newbie mistake, and any fool who may speak either on the behalf of the mortal, or attempts to calm the sisterhood. They are also trendsetters and have a majority of the public opinion of online art communities in the palms of their fishy hands.
Beware the Birkenstock Mafia, they own this 'net
by BurningForCheetos April 6, 2005
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Birkenstocks

Sandals that were made popular by butch lesbians in the 90's. You often see people wearing these with socks. They are a definite fashion don't.
Fashion victim: Those are my Birkenstocks! I love them! They are so comfortable and they go with everything!

Stacey: In what world do birkenstock's go with anything?

Clinton: Throw them out! Throw them out now!
by Gamelockedtight March 27, 2009
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BIRKENSTOCKS

Only the most comfortable shoes and sandals you will ever find. Sandals and clogs are the typical occurrence, however, they produce various other types. Worn by hippies and preps alike, lauded for comfort by all. Everyone should own at least one pair.
Dude, I feel like I am walking on a cloud, thanks to my BIRKENSTOCKS!

Me too!
by birklover November 23, 2021
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