birkenstalker

An annoying, self-righteous hippie guy who will not stop calling you, even though you said to stop. What he doesn't understand is that just because he feels like he has great, liberating intentions, doesn't mean that you like him. His intentions may include expanding your minds together, telling you his philosophy, talking about you being a 'goddess' or something to get in your pants. Just because you have that one sari fabric sun dress does not mean you want to colonize India all over again with him and his vibes. He can't see why you don't want anymore jars of dandelions left for you on your doorstep. Because he feels he is on the purest spiritual path he thinks that that stalking behavior is part of Jah's or the Great Spirit's, or the universe's dance between men and women. He's creepy because its his "nature". May also be a megalomaniaphone about his guru who he read one book about.

Hey, want to go to the crystal shop, they are the only ones that carry that lip balm I like.

No way, you are on your own, that's where that birkenstalker works. I'll meet you at Starbucks.

Naw, you're right dude, let's skip it. He is such a megalomaniaphone at parties.

I know, but he does have that cute intellectual smokestack friend...

No way, that guy is an IntelliBruto

birkenstalker by fannyreer July 11, 2010

Birkenstocker 

A creepy hippy that stalks people.

A: Did you pick up your vitamins at the health food store?
B: I tried but there was a 'Birkenstocker' following me down every aisle and I had to ditch him.

Birkenstocker by Bryan Gilbreath October 17, 2010

birkenstalking 

In large crowds or at festivals you stalk people who wear those super-ugly Birkenstock two strap sandals and you stomp on their toes for offending everything decent with their lack of sensibility.

"I'm bored with Imagine Dragons, let's go Birkenstalking!"

birkenstalking by Vhael January 9, 2016