Bakersfield

The only place, besides D.C. where you could lose the entire worlds nuclear arsenal and not have it burn through the crap. There's a reason they say: "There are two things to do in Bakersfield, meth or drive away."
Normal Person 1: So we've been in Bakersfield an hour, we've done everything there is to do, and we have to options left ..... so......wana do meth?

Normal Person 2: No...

Normal Person 1: Ok, let's drive away
by j4657 October 14, 2014
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Bakersfield

A metropolitan city located, ironically, in the southern end of the San Joaquin Valley of California, in the United States, that believes it is a town and deeply embodies this concept in its culture.

Bakersfleid culture is punctuated by its insufferable summer heat and hatred from people from Los Angeles (LA). The summer of '11 featured over 25 days of consecutive triple digit heat, enhanced by air quality at least on a par with LA (again irony abounds..) Heat peaks at 5 0'clock pm and does not abate until 3:00 am if you're lucky.
If you are misguided or unfortunate enough to move to Bakersfield from LA, be advised and prepared to witness their collective ability to blackball and ostracize, yet try to understand this has become a genetic abnormality that binds the culture. Some believe it may be a protective mechanism (they know it sucks), as 'appearance' overrides all activities of the natives, who are, indeed, interesting to observe..especially in their native habitat.
by DaneBC June 19, 2011
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bakersfield

city in central california. frankly, it is mierably boring. its a giant field with buildings. yuck.
bakersfield is boring.
by Random May 22, 2004
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bakersfield

Yes, it's hot. It can suck. However, its what you make of it. Either way, we still have a pretty bad reputation as a glorified hick-ville...
My friend & I during a random roadtrip to Aspen, CO:

random boy at a bar: hey, where are you girls from?
us: california
random boy: you girls here for the bachlorette party?
us: uhm, no. we're visiting friends. who would come all
the way from cali to get married?
random boy: would you rather get married in aspen or vegas?
my friend: well, i would get married in vegas.
random boy: YOU MUST BE FROM BAKERSFIELD!!!!

How the hell he pulled that out of his ass when all he had was the entire CA I'll never know.
by gotAwayFromThere November 09, 2006
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Bakersfield

A mysterious anomaly located in Kern County, California and the California's central valley.

In 2013, Bakersfield topped the list of every other single city in America with a population of over 250,000 people (even Miami and Boston) as being "America's Drunkest City".

Drivers here do what they want (cutting all 4 lanes on the freeway without looking, not bothering to replace their burnt-out brake lights, NEVER touching the turn signal, etc.), and road rage is rampant here.

A few streets are named after county music artists (Merle Haggard, Buck Owens), and Bakersfield is home to the Crystal Palace country music hall. Often called "California's country music capital," everyone here listens to country music. A subgenre of country music came about in 1950s Bakersfield called the "Bakersfield sound."

The neighborhoods here are basically 1) Rosedale - in the northwest and, 2) the ghetto - everywhere else. The east is perhaps the most dangerous, and Oildale is very close. Southwest Bakersfield used to be the shit, but has turned to just shit. A storm of people flew into Kern County from Los Angeles in the wake of the housing market crash, and brought a lot of the ghetto culture with it.

Despite all of this, I love it here. You will find that so many of us are weirdly prideful of the hillbilly cow town we live in. Out of all the big cities in the central valley, Fresno, Stockton, and Sacramento are a lot worse.
Bakersfield. At least it's not Stockton!
by i want mints November 21, 2013
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Bakersfield

A city in inland California, where kids bitch constantly about how boring it is, where in reality its actually kinda fun, there is plenty of beer and Nice places to chill besides the Valley Plaza, although there isn't much to do for free there is a river that runs through the town that people go to in the summertime and there are concerts almost every day somewhere and contrary to popular belief they don't all take place at that dump Jerry's Pizza. There are amphitheater's at CSUB the city's state university and in the southwest part of town sponsored by Brighthouse Networks, a local cable company.

also there is Rabobank arena where there are concerts of somekind almost monthly. when the circus or the fair aren't in town you can always just do what everyone else at any other town does you can hit up the strip clubs and the hooka lounges or bars like B Ryders or The Elixir. Or go to parties that happen almost daily in any given part of town including the East side, the truth is you can make friends with just about anyone as long as you don't say anything insulting and bring your own beer.

Bakersfield was rated the 10th drunkest city in america, more drunk per capita than las vegas. there is also an abundance of marijuana (and if you go into oildaile, meth) but in reality there is plenty to do if your not up your own ass.
Stupid asshole: Man Bakersfield Is fucking lame!!!! this place sucks ass why am I stuck here and there's nothing to do!!!

Not asshole: Get your head out your ass, make friends, and Party or smoke some of the weed that's growing in the front yard, or go to college and make something of yourself you can do all that here you little prick
by BakoIsDope August 30, 2011
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Bakersfield

The Hell(boredom)hole KoRn hailed from
In Bakersfield if you were not a jock, then you're screwed with boredom!
by Antonio March 20, 2004
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