by Troller32 February 08, 2021
One who frequently masterbates
by winterkyles January 04, 2013
1. When someone tells you about something they have done that they think is impressive, but it has the total opposite effect.
2. When someone is bragging about an absolute epic fail, and they should definitely keep it to themself.
2. When someone is bragging about an absolute epic fail, and they should definitely keep it to themself.
Example 1.)
Guy: I know I have bad teeth, so I bough this teeth-repairing toothpaste called Sensodyne.
Me: Congrats bro, you get the Captain's Pass!
Example 2.)
Guy: I was a father at 16, and now I'm blessed to be a young grandpa at 32.
Me: Congrats bro, you get the Captain's Pass!
Guy: I know I have bad teeth, so I bough this teeth-repairing toothpaste called Sensodyne.
Me: Congrats bro, you get the Captain's Pass!
Example 2.)
Guy: I was a father at 16, and now I'm blessed to be a young grandpa at 32.
Me: Congrats bro, you get the Captain's Pass!
by mbrewer32 July 05, 2016
captain-callahan.tumblr.com is a blog run by a girl named gwen. Gwen is a perfect example of the 4 F's. ( fierce, flawless, fabulous, and fantastic) She is the queen of the New York Rangers which would make her Henrik Lundqvist's wife. Even Wayne Gretzky bows down to her. Gwen knows everything about the 1994 Rangers season and keyboard cat which makes her even more perf. I mean, just look at her posts. They are more then the bees knees (because we all know bees don't have knees) they are like the horses wings. Which was basically a reference to Taylor Hall's hair if you didn't catch that.
"Omg look at that captain-callahan blog. that girl is wonderful"
"Ikr. I heard when Gwen went to a game, Brandon Prust's overbite jaw dropped."
"Ikr. I heard when Gwen went to a game, Brandon Prust's overbite jaw dropped."
by gwenfan1 January 31, 2012
A name first used in spoken conversation when referring to the fictional character Simon from the TV series The Walking Dead, who supported an excessively flamboyant moustache and cheesy grin. This, coupled with his attempts to emulate his boss Negan and general wankerism led to the formation of the moniker.
Similar examples would be: Douchie McDouchebag; Sergeant Dickface; Lord Twat of Knobington Manor, etc, of which the original creator of the name Captain Wankstash seemingly has an endless supply.
Can also be written Captain Wankstache
Suggested use: for mustachioed military/ uniformed non-military types, with attitudes far in excess of their competence /accomplishment. Is not restricted to this use but it's a good fit for it.
Similar examples would be: Douchie McDouchebag; Sergeant Dickface; Lord Twat of Knobington Manor, etc, of which the original creator of the name Captain Wankstash seemingly has an endless supply.
Can also be written Captain Wankstache
Suggested use: for mustachioed military/ uniformed non-military types, with attitudes far in excess of their competence /accomplishment. Is not restricted to this use but it's a good fit for it.
Who was that guy? You know, Captain Wankstache.
Alright Captain Wankstash, calm down/give it a rest.
Here we go, Captain Wankstache is at it again.
Alright Captain Wankstash, calm down/give it a rest.
Here we go, Captain Wankstache is at it again.
by FecktardIntolerant May 12, 2023
Girl: "You see that guy with the snake tattoo? I totally shagged him last night!"
Guy:"Really?!? He rode me so hard last week I couldn't stand up for three days!!"
Girl: " I guess we are both apart of Captain Jack's Crew."
Guy:"Really?!? He rode me so hard last week I couldn't stand up for three days!!"
Girl: " I guess we are both apart of Captain Jack's Crew."
by death the fox August 31, 2011
A handsome, athletic douchebag. He's got the world's best body but has fried his brain smoking mass pot. He claims to have given a girl 10 orgasms in an hour. Every girl secretly wants his dick.
*Best friends with Major Dick...
*Best friends with Major Dick...
by Mssss Lady June 14, 2010