Captain Flex

Dude with a slim build who sees himself as more of a Scottiah adonis body god
Usually found peacocking around the floor for no reason
Throws out a random flex when a member of the opposite sex is around

Look at BB over there peacocking round those hoes, he is the real deal captain flex

by Jonsnowknowsnowt July 27, 2016

Captain whip out

Long time friend or employer who is notorious for whipping his wang out on your girl when your not around. But your his boi his homie or the backbone of buisness and this is your repayment.

Well if it isn't captain whip out!

Captain whip out: look out man ,whipping it out man preferably with a cowboy hat and a YEE HAW!

by Hubcity turtle August 31, 2016

Captain Shartacus

A man who can't help but shit himself

Hey man are u captain Shartacus??
Yeah bro, didn't you know!

by ULTIMATE October 25, 2016

captain guyliner

an awesome guy that gets a 10/10 on time management in art. also has eyeliner for men. guyliner. and is a captain of all things dirty. captain. captain guyliner.

"Yo did you see that guy walk past?"

"Yeah that was Captain Guyliner."

by Band Dork 2k19 November 15, 2016

captain sarcasm

The arch-enemy of Captain Obvious, because unlike him, Captain Sarcasm just answers a stupid question with a rather crude or not sarcastic way. Or just simply states facts in a sarcastic way.

Stupid guy: "If I get bitten by a venomous spider, will I die?"
Captain Sarcasm: "No, you'll become Spider-Man."

Stupid guy: "How will my post card be delivered to my mom "by sea"?"
Cap. Sarcasm: "Swimming, obviously".

Stupid guy: "Do you need to use the bathroom?"
Cap. Sarcasm: *holding his crotch* "No, I need to go to the library and read a book".

by DiogoAttitude November 22, 2016

Captain Hook

When someone's dick is too small to grab with the whole hand when masturbating, they use one finger, looking like a pirate hook.

A:"Why's Tilly so mad?"
B:"Mike caught him Captain Hooking, now we all know he's got a lil cock"

by Cool cunt January 2, 2017

captain sandals

A bartender who wears sandals and jeans, is obsessed with turning the televisions ever so slightly, and can not let you drink a beer without a coaster. He also sits with hot girls after his shifts and asks them if they want a drink, goes behind the bar to get them, and then he puts it on their tab. Big Dave Matthews fan.

Oh no, there's a coaster under my pitcher if beer, is captain sandals working?

by bangedyourmom69 January 18, 2017