jesus juice 

my delicious strawberry nesquik.

chocolate and other flavors are gay.

like your mom

fuck im out of jesus juice, MOM GET IN THE CAR WERE GOING SHOPPING!
me: *buys all the jesus juice in the store*

jesus juice by Ranger_Roy May 20, 2018

jesus condom 

a term used for a nonexistent condom, derived from the fact that Jesus was a virgin and therefore would not have needed a condom at all. it makes sense, trust me.

so, basically, sex without a condom.

Yeah, me and Janet hit it off with a jesus condom last night.

jesus condom by asbo August 17, 2006

Jesus Freak 

A born again Christian who lives their whole life completely for Jesus Christ who first died for us. A Jesus freak is not ashamed of their belief and love for God. God is number one in a Jesus freak's life. A Jesus freak is totally on fire for God and just wants to spread the love of Christ.

I am 16 years old and I am a TOTAL Jesus freak and not ashamed of it because Jesus has given me more than anyone else ever could.

I don't really care if they label me a Jesus Freak...There ain't no disguising the truth! ;)

Jesus Freak by On_Fire_For_God September 7, 2008

Jesus dandruff 

Inclimate winter weather, excessive snow.

There was mad Jesus dandruff out there tonight, I was afraid to be on the road on the way back from the New Years' celebration.

Jesus dandruff by Alan August 17, 2006

jesus palm 

A cut or abrasion on the lower middle part of the hand, thus resembling the hand of Jesus on the crucifix. Commonly associated with Skateboarding and other physical sports where falling on one's hands is emminent.

I Fell and got this jesus palm the other day.

jesus palm by the cisco kid August 4, 2004

jesus chair 

chair of jesus, where jesus' bum sat

"i want to sit in the jesus chair!!"

jesus chair by dicktofer October 28, 2007

Jesus Titties 

1) The best way of saying "Jesus Christ" without offending god.

2) Sometimes used when someone surprises you

1) Bill: hey Bob, did u know we have to work tomorrow?

Bob: but tomorrow is a Sunday.

Bill: i know the boss is being a real douche.

Bob: Jesus Titties!


2) (douche bag lurking in the shadows jumps out and shouts: BOOOOOO!!!

Person: Jesus Titties!

Jesus Titties by candyman7766453 December 9, 2008