beard

1. to be a beard is to be boring, unsociable and a complete waste of air
2. never wants to do anything atall..ever
3. stubborn bastard

jamie roberts aka "ultimate beard"

"beard u cumin out tonight"

"naaaa im stayin in playin xbox 360"

"you are a beard"
-
"Beard have you got a spare cig?"

"naaaaaa iv only got 16 left"

"YOU BEARD"

by you know who.. April 19, 2007

Bearded meme daddy

An attention seeking annoying person who clings to their kink to get people to like them. Constantly begs for money and nudes from women and thinks that he is entitled to both of these things. Generally unattractive with a weak jawline and straw like facial hair.

You're such a bearded meme daddy.

by UncleMiles May 6, 2017

Merlin's beard

When having sex with a young lady one withdraws his love staff at the point of ejaculation and sprays his love muck on the lady's chin. The jizz should start to hang down off the chin, creating a rather fetching white beard look, similar to Merlin's.

"Hey guess what Rich, I did a Merlin's beard on your mum last night!"

"Oh right I just thought she hadn't shaved!"

by Ste Crayston December 7, 2006

Beard (Beardy/ Beardo)

A slightly disillusioned male prone to suffering from extreme emotions. Likely to become utterly infatuated with members of the opposite sex, only to perform a complete reversal of feelings in the blink of an eye and hurl verbal abuse at them.

100% absolutely guaranteed to be late, even if you purposefully tell him the wrong time, his inner clock will force you to rethink plans to allow for his tardiness. If you attempt to reprimand him for this, he will simply chuckle. In fact he will chuckle in literally any situation ala Dr Hibbert (The Simpsons)

Skirmishes with a Beard, (although over as quick as they begin and normally consist of him stamping over to you with a grimace on his face), will often result in him threatening you with a house brick

Although a Beard cannot be classed as a boy racer (as he is far too old), he will drive perilously fast. As a result a vital part of his vehicle (Brakes, Gearbox, Suspension) will usually emit distressing noises

Beards will demand to spend the majority of a night out in a drinking establishment frequented by old men. He will affectionately refer to this as a “pub pub” and will became very excited about the opportunities to order Stella and dry roasted peanuts.

If a Beard rubs his stomach or makes a gesture such as biting into an invisible burger, this is normally a sign that he is grown tired and needs replenishment (Often occurs towards the end of a night out)

“”Where’s that dam Beardo, I bet he’s having a second curry!””

“I don’t think Beard (Beardy/ Beardo) will be coming out tonight, he’s got a new girlfriend”

by Cutco July 6, 2010

Power Beard

What a Dwyer!!

Silly little men that think that having a dead rat on their face makes them look powerfull, also giving them something else to play with beside their own cocks

by The May 14, 2003

Merlin's Beard

A layer of semen on a girl's face in areas where facial hair is commonly found on men, e.g. chin, upper lip, cheeks, neck. Usually results after a blowjob.

"Do you want a blowjob, sweetheart?"

"Yeah! How do you want it to end today, honey?"

"I'd love to have a Merlin's Beard, but whatever you want. It's your special day."

"You want it, you got it!"

by Merlin's Wife July 2, 2009

Merlins Beard

Where one ejaculates onto one's partners face, leaving them with a beard dripping from their chin

1.

Dave: I was with this girl last night.
Tim: Oh yeah, how'd it go?
Dave: Got a blowjob
Tim: Did she swallow?
Dave: no, mate she likes it with a Merlins Beard
Tim: ......
Dave: Yeah....

2.

Steve: Want me to pull out?
Daisy: yeah, give me a Merlins Beard

by Jimmy Buttcracker August 20, 2013