by MidgetTheorist June 21, 2021
Get the Midget Theorymug. This theory covers the principle that you have some people who are incompetent but get promoted anyway due to arrogance, self-belief and ignorance of their own capabilities and limitations. Their self-belief comes across as confidence and skill during short interview exposure where real skills are not challenged or tested thoroughly. Ultimately they become a manager. They try to exert control over all future situations, despite a lack of informed knowledge.
These employees float up to the top of an organisation, repeating the same process. and this is why there is a layer of shit often floating at the top, underneath which capable employees become exhausted and disgruntled.
This in essence is the Polystyrene Brown Management Theory.
It gains its name from some simple principles. If placed in water, Polestyrene will float to the top, pushing everything out of its way to get there, where it refuses to sink, is bad for the environment and is generally just shit. Inhibiting the necessary light needed for employee growth underneath where they are left in a less oxygen-rich environment, unable to get the necessary straws to aid breathing, due to the budget cuts imposed by said Polystyrene Brown Management.
The environment that the employee is left to work in starts to turn brown, and everywhere they look they feel they are surrounded by shit.
These employees float up to the top of an organisation, repeating the same process. and this is why there is a layer of shit often floating at the top, underneath which capable employees become exhausted and disgruntled.
This in essence is the Polystyrene Brown Management Theory.
It gains its name from some simple principles. If placed in water, Polestyrene will float to the top, pushing everything out of its way to get there, where it refuses to sink, is bad for the environment and is generally just shit. Inhibiting the necessary light needed for employee growth underneath where they are left in a less oxygen-rich environment, unable to get the necessary straws to aid breathing, due to the budget cuts imposed by said Polystyrene Brown Management.
The environment that the employee is left to work in starts to turn brown, and everywhere they look they feel they are surrounded by shit.
Polysterene Brown Management Theory
"I have been working in this company for 23 years, and we don't need to change or adapt to any of these dumbfounding IT security principles or ideas you have, if you don't like it then leave!!!!" - said David.
"Well David, that's some "Polysternene Brown Management Theory" bullshit right there you useless bag of limp dicks" - replied Kevin.
"I have been working in this company for 23 years, and we don't need to change or adapt to any of these dumbfounding IT security principles or ideas you have, if you don't like it then leave!!!!" - said David.
"Well David, that's some "Polysternene Brown Management Theory" bullshit right there you useless bag of limp dicks" - replied Kevin.
by irishwolfdogg June 25, 2021
Get the Polysterene Brown Management Theorymug. Holy shit! The Prodigy wrote a book!? OOOOHHH! He predicted black holes 27 years before we even theorized their existence and 40 years before we found one!? HA! Brilliant! I’d expect no less! I’m totally like that guy! EXCEPT IN REVERSE!!!
*Random banging and clattering*
Iam “What... What are you doing? What’s going on here? Why is the trash-can sitting on top of a pile of garbage?”
Hym *mumbling* “It needs to be reversed... Only I can do it... reverse it...”
Iam “Reverse? Why are all your clothes on backwards? Wait... Is this about that reversibility theory video we watched?”
Hym “Help me flip the fridge upside down.”
Iam “What? No! You know that’s now what he meant...”
Hym “Wait! Increase the temperature of the freezer and then decrease the temperature of the fridge! DOUBLE REVERSE!!!”
Iam 🤦 ♂️ “Just don’t break anything....”
Hym *throws brick* *glass shatters* “I reversed the thing you said!”
Iam 😑
Iam “What... What are you doing? What’s going on here? Why is the trash-can sitting on top of a pile of garbage?”
Hym *mumbling* “It needs to be reversed... Only I can do it... reverse it...”
Iam “Reverse? Why are all your clothes on backwards? Wait... Is this about that reversibility theory video we watched?”
Hym “Help me flip the fridge upside down.”
Iam “What? No! You know that’s now what he meant...”
Hym “Wait! Increase the temperature of the freezer and then decrease the temperature of the fridge! DOUBLE REVERSE!!!”
Iam 🤦 ♂️ “Just don’t break anything....”
Hym *throws brick* *glass shatters* “I reversed the thing you said!”
Iam 😑
by Hym Iam December 1, 2022
Get the Reversibility Theorymug. Person 1: “oh look at this girl, Arden”
Person 2: “her name is Arden? She looks more like a Caitlyn to me…”
Person 1: “totally.”
Person 2: “see? Arden Theory.”
Person 2: “her name is Arden? She looks more like a Caitlyn to me…”
Person 1: “totally.”
Person 2: “see? Arden Theory.”
by Shrek5ever April 7, 2024
Get the arden theorymug. When you fade the Sharps in betting. Bob believes they are trying to control the line by making it seem like they’re betting one way, but they actually bet the other once the line moves enough.
Chris: sharps love the over in the Temple game.
Bob: I’m hammering the under then.
Chris: that’s Bob’s Theory for ya.
Bob: I’m hammering the under then.
Chris: that’s Bob’s Theory for ya.
by BobsTheory January 14, 2021
Get the Bob’s Theorymug. Corporate Tortograph Theory states that in the world of late-stage capitalism, the human impulse for creativity has been channeled so exclusively towards marketing that almost any absurd collection of words, names, or syllables is likely to coenside with a real-world entity, person, or organization of some sort, often in the corporate sphere.
“Jesse, I typed “Gortco” into Google and came up with a page for a random Norwegian company… just another proof for Corporate Tortograph Theory.”
by Galaxy94 June 30, 2023
Get the Corporate Tortograph Theorymug. The belief that every decision, emotion, or relationship is tangled in a web of invisible threads—and pulling one always yanks five others.
I tried to fix my schedule and ended up in a full-on string theory of life moment—now I’m rethinking my career and my coffee order.
by Briton Phillip October 18, 2025
Get the String Theory of Lifemug.