Phrase every American traveling through an airport should utter before being screened by security so the TSA will start harassing people who actually look like real terrorists.
Screener: "I'm going to pat you once on the inner thigh, twice on the ass, three times on your belly button, and then finally stick four fingers and some jelly in yer bunghole, alright honey? If you're uncomfortable with that we can head over to the janitor room right there and do a quick private thingy, k puddin'?"
Passenger: "Do whatchu gotta do, but don't touch my junk or I'll have you arrested."
Passenger: "Do whatchu gotta do, but don't touch my junk or I'll have you arrested."
by dookeyboy November 21, 2010
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When someone tells you to touch your nose, it means to stay out of their business. It is none of your business. Could also mean "don't worry about it."
by gucciebaby21 January 15, 2011
Get the touch your nose mug.when the turtle head of ones faeces pretudes to the extent that it touches the cloth which comprises ones underwear. A crude expression with a mighty impact.
-"I am ever so glad i wore baggy boxer shorts today".
-"really egbert why is that".
-well humbert to be quite frank i am touching cloth.
-oh you are desperate to empty your bowels and are finding it hard to keep the turtles head under reigns.
-quite, and now i am afraid the turtles head has broken through my anal gates and is causing one great discomfort.
-i see, well it is lucky you are wearing spacious boxer shorts for if you were wearing y fronts the turtle may have been crushed resulting in a mess in ones pants.
-never mind i am starting to quite enjoy the sensation it is similar to when you insert your penis through my cheeks to the brown.
-oh well i dont know why you are complaining in that case it would be more like a terrapin head as my penis is terribly small due to the inbred nature of my family.
-dont beat yourself up you make up for it with your 11 fingers.
-"really egbert why is that".
-well humbert to be quite frank i am touching cloth.
-oh you are desperate to empty your bowels and are finding it hard to keep the turtles head under reigns.
-quite, and now i am afraid the turtles head has broken through my anal gates and is causing one great discomfort.
-i see, well it is lucky you are wearing spacious boxer shorts for if you were wearing y fronts the turtle may have been crushed resulting in a mess in ones pants.
-never mind i am starting to quite enjoy the sensation it is similar to when you insert your penis through my cheeks to the brown.
-oh well i dont know why you are complaining in that case it would be more like a terrapin head as my penis is terribly small due to the inbred nature of my family.
-dont beat yourself up you make up for it with your 11 fingers.
by gallipoli December 12, 2004
Get the touching cloth mug.Touch Cookie is an act used for sexual gratification orginating in eastern Bulgaria created under the name of 'докосване бисквитка'.
The act relies upon digestive timing and requires the receiver to be ready to 'lay cable' so to speak. At this pinnacle moment the person carrying out the act of 'touch cookie' would insert their tongue into the receivers anus until it touched the awaiting faecal matter firmly, the receiver would then gain sensation of having the faecal matter pushed back up slightly into the colon and the giver would gain gratification based on a prerequisite affection for 'scat play'.
The act relies upon digestive timing and requires the receiver to be ready to 'lay cable' so to speak. At this pinnacle moment the person carrying out the act of 'touch cookie' would insert their tongue into the receivers anus until it touched the awaiting faecal matter firmly, the receiver would then gain sensation of having the faecal matter pushed back up slightly into the colon and the giver would gain gratification based on a prerequisite affection for 'scat play'.
'Did you hear Katie and Julia were playing touch cookie last night?? how rank is that? poked her poop with her tongue!!'
or as an insult as an alternative to 'eat/lick shit'
'Why don't you just go touch cookie and die, you asshole!'
or as an insult as an alternative to 'eat/lick shit'
'Why don't you just go touch cookie and die, you asshole!'
by Spacedust May 31, 2009
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