Spread the Butter

For those that are extremely ass-greasy on a constant basis, this is a term to be aware of. Keeping up with asshole hygiene is very difficult for some individuals. Sometimes, to remain dry and “scent-free”, there needs to be some improvising when toilet paper isn’t easily accessible. It would be easy just to drag your ass across the carpet like a dog but there needs to be a certain level of dignity kept. Common methods to wiping ones ass can include using the bed sheet while in bed, using the inside of your shirt or underwear that you are wearing, washing your ass with water in someone’s bathroom sink (although disgusting, the jerk didn’t have any TP!), or any other situation where toilet paper is substituted with something.

“I was greasier than all hell so I had to spread the butter with Joe’s ferret.”

by Nob April 28, 2004

Ponderosa Spread

A very large ass. Generally one that is ridiculously huge.

Ponderosa - A Ponderosa is an all you can eat buffet style restaurant.

You can set a table of four on that ponderosa spread.

by Paul Smith "Dooly Loo King" October 6, 2007

spread

Drugs at a rave or concert. Passed out by a spreader

Let me pick up some spread before I leave here.

by Jay November 17, 2003

midnight spread

1. Waking up with your partner in the middle of the night, engaging in the physical act of love, and falling asleep again.

2. A delicious sandwich at resto Santropol in Montreal.

"Jeepers, me and Stacy had a fantastic midnight spread last night."
"That's swell, but it can't beat the midnight spread Jacynthe and I had this morning."

by newton64 August 19, 2008

The Spreading Eagle

When one makes Eagle noises while spreading legs and flapping arms during sexual intercourse.

Hey, do you wanna try the spreading eagle tonight?
oooh, kinky

by Briget Smiles December 3, 2010

bend and spread

1. verb - The act of bending over and spreading your butt cheeks in someone's face (usually for a rectal visual exam)

Dude, at MEPS I had to do the bend and spread. It was mortifying because the doc was like 70.

by waterleopard December 27, 2011

anal spread

A delicious alternative to the bush taco, wherein a solid and juicy shit is spread on bread, toast or eaten with carrots and celery. Intense vommiting may follow.

I have a piece of bread but I have no peanut butter. I do however have anal spread, well I will in about 5 minutes.

by esparagus partridge October 21, 2009