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Schrodinger's Handjob

When you tittyfuck a girl who has a flat chest so its not really a "handjob" but its also not really a "Tittyfuck"
man 1 - "Bro i just got a great tittyfuck from my girlfriend"

man 2 - "bro your gf is super flat are you sure it wasn't just a Schrodinger's Handjob"
by Beastman723 April 7, 2017
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schrödinghim

a guy who could be gay or straight... but, you put him in a box... 👩 🔬💁, and you won't know until you open it and turn on the lights!
Jim's sexuality was a mystery. That schrödinghim was always floating from guy to girl: we couldn't tell he was gay till we caught him under the bleachers with Tom!
by KifoFox May 7, 2017
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Schrodinger's Kim

When North Korea's Leader has been assumed to be dead but there is no information to confirm or deny the claim.
Person 1: "Did you hear that Kim Jong Un might be dead?"
Person 2: "Yea but he's Schrodinger's Kim until anything is said about it"
by weswes887 April 28, 2020
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Schrodinger's Irony

When someone says something that is of controversial nature, then decides whether it was irony or not based on the other people's responses.
Guy 1: "I fucking hate everyone"
Guy 2: "That's not very nice..."
Guy 1: "Chill, it's just a joke ok?"
Guy 2: "Yeah sure, that's just Schrodinger's Irony"
by AlcoholVolcano June 27, 2020
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Schrodinger's Project Manager

A workplace phenomenon where resources assigned to a project are simultaneously worthless and invaluable, where the act of interacting with the project manager forces a classification.

"I know it's not something we normally do, and I know you're not responsible for it, however can you perform this backlog of clerical tasks?"

"I just don't have enough resources allocated to my team, I'm missing my deliverables and I'll need more of your time"
Person 1: "I can't believe our PM made us attend that four hour meeting... We told them we didn't have anything to contribute, and they're telling me they need my pull request in by tomorrow because the project is behind"
Person 2:"Yup, Schrodinger's Project Manager"
by Bob Costas' Gym Teacher July 1, 2020
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Schrödinger’s Hug

To give a hug but only meaning it if they hug back
Larry: “I gave Linda a Schrödinger’s Hug today and she hugged back”
Tom:”Good Job you killed that like the Nazis killed Jews”
Larry: “What the fuck
Tom: “I’m joking”
Larry:”Your a Schröedinger’s Douche bag
by A possum possum December 29, 2020
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Schrodinger’s Clown

When you or someone else has added dry humor into your daily conversations so much that people including your friends can’t tell if you’re joking or not.
Person 1: If I just had to shoot confetti out of my pussy to make thousands On the Internet I’d do it.
Person 2: Yo wtf, why would you do that?do you not have any morals or self-respect
Person 1: Ayo it’s just a joke man.Fuck I wish I didn’t have to say that so often, it’s like I’m Schrodinger’s Clown or some shit.
by Lobotomized3D February 7, 2021
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