The motherfucker ahead of you in line at the convenience store who has 136 fucking lottery tickets they want "checked" to see if they are winners but hasn't taken the time to scratch off the entire QR strip at the bottom of each ticket. The lottery Tickiteer then very slowly and selectively spends any winnings as if they were on Wheel of fucking Fortune.
I was late and in a hurry when the lottery tickiteer in front of me at the gas station pulled out what appeared to be a small mountain of lottery tickets. Take the gift certificate for crying out loud.
by Pierced69 August 04, 2022
A miraculous event where 10 to 20 guys each wear and "use" the same condom with the same girl. With their cum combined, the condom is nearly ready for its most vital task. The last guy to use the condom presses the back end against the girl's torn up coochie. And then, the condom gets pushed in; inverting inside her. Leaving it to be anyone's guess who the daddy's gonna be.
Maury: "So who do you think the father is?
Misfortune Mother: "I dunno. Could be any of these 20 guys."
Maury: "How is this possible?!"
Misfortune Mother: "Maury, I got caught up in the Milk Lottery. You don't even know."
Misfortune Mother: "I dunno. Could be any of these 20 guys."
Maury: "How is this possible?!"
Misfortune Mother: "Maury, I got caught up in the Milk Lottery. You don't even know."
by JayWalkin April 20, 2025
A lawsuit won by someone who should have won a Darwin Award, but instead survives and lawyers up to sue everyone for their own stupidity.
Person 1: Man, did you hear about that girl who put Gorilla Glue in her hair because she ran out of hairspray?
Person 2: Yeah! Man I feel bad for her.
Person 1: Yeah well don't be. That dumb bitch is going to win the Darwin Lottery. She lawyered up.
Person 2: Yeah! Man I feel bad for her.
Person 1: Yeah well don't be. That dumb bitch is going to win the Darwin Lottery. She lawyered up.
by The Real Slim Patches February 10, 2021
by Your_local_genderbender October 21, 2022
Putting multiple condoms into a basket, while one condom has a small hole. Then when the time comes to use a condom a person mixes the condoms up and draws from the basket. Whom ever receives the condom with the hole wins THE LOTTERY.
Ryan played the lottery a couple weeks ago, turns out he won. He’s afraid the child support will be more than he can afford.
by Dat Bald head August 07, 2022
Hym "Well would you look at that! 'The Lottery!' Another account of what you people collectively do to individuals. Reward Noah for winning the fat-cock lottery and then punish me for drawing the short straw. THIS IS WHAT YOU DO! It isn't me. It isn't my psychology. I figured out what you were up to and this is what you do in response to getting caught. I guess it's time for the drone strikes. Light them up. There is no redeeming this place. You all need to go quietly or loudly back into the darkness from wence you came. It's not a surprise your God came here and killed itself."
by Hym Iam April 14, 2025
Malik: Hey, where is Jamal's family? I haven't seen them around since the funeral.
Jayden: Theys moved out. They hit the ratchet lottery when they got the settlement money from the city.
Jayden: Theys moved out. They hit the ratchet lottery when they got the settlement money from the city.
by WileECoyote.genius May 16, 2025