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Kimchi Handjob

1. When an act of penile masturbation results in the owner of the fleshy appendage feeling "sour" or "spicy" - usually because of mechanically induced hyperkeratosis lesions on the giver (and subsequently on the receiver) of the manual stimulation. This assault on a friendly weapon can result in the penis looking like a plate of kimchi.

2. When one uses Kimchi as lube before doing the five finger knuckle shuffle
1. "Seth went home with that hot chick that works down at the docks and she gave him a kimchi handjob - his monster is raw."

2. "Oh, that mixed smell of fermented napa cabbage, daikon radish, scallions, Korean red pepper powder, fish sauce, fresh ginger, garlic cloves & salted shrimp? Yeah, that's my junk. Last night I got a Kimchi Handjob."
by Dr. Michael Mancini August 30, 2013
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ego handjob

<Noun>
An ego handjob is an exchange of unsolicited compliments between friends that is meant to flatter, affirm, or charm; especially under circumstances in which the mutual feelings are generally already known. Ego handjobs should be mutual and reciprocated.
Two people exchanging ego handjobs:
Friend one: "You are awesome!"
Friend two: "YOU are awesomer!"
Friend one: "Your ego handjobs feel great!"
Friend two: "No way... YOUR ego handjobs are just amazing."
by Armchair007 December 25, 2011
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Redneck Handjob

A handjob where the person giving has a band aid on their finger
Mark got a redneck handjob from Stephanie the last night, gross..
by oneloadedcheeseburgerplease April 19, 2023
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Turkish handjob

The act of spitting between the breasts of a busty lady and then place your penis between them and squash them together with your hands so becomes tighter and fuck them.
This Polish lady had the perfect big tits for Turkish handjob, but the English woman had small tits so it couldn't happen.
by Memeforlife September 18, 2023
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Phantom Handjob

When a man or woman’s lays on arm or hand to make numb then proceeds to perform handjob on self or partner
Dam my arms numb guess I’ll give myself that phantom handjob
by ThePhantom89 January 12, 2021
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austrian handjob

When someone is giving you a handjob, and begins spinning your dick like a helicopter's rotor, at which point you scream "Get to the chopper now" at them in your best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice.
"Yo Brittany was stroking me off last week and it turned into an Austrian handjob. She said my accent needed work"
by CaillouSwagDick April 26, 2016
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E-handjob

while using a chat program, one chatter boosts the other's confidence with showers of praise and other nonsensical words of support.
a: oh, i'm just a horrible writer. i'll never get published.

b: don't be ridiculous. i love your writing. poignant, beautiful, obscene, deliberate, intense, pure. can't say enough about it.

a: thanks, but i wasn't looking for an e-handjob. what would you know anyway? aren't you that guy that likes 'survivor'?
by Buck Bonkey December 2, 2003
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