braces

A concoction of rubber, metal, and souls of the damned that the dentist say "make your teeth straight," but all it does it show you what hell on earth is. As the wires constantly poke at the inside of your poor, poor mouth, and you'd wish you could unhinge your jaw like a snake, and eat in one bite, because when you're hungry, you have to push through the pain and agony of trying to chew your food. It also disables you to speak like a civilised normal human being, and disables you from not having people play chess on your checkerboard looking teeth. It's a Costco sample of hell on earth. They fool the poor, young souls who fall into the trap of Hitler's checkerboard into being happy by letting them choose a color. They lie to you and say you look cute, handsome, and more mature with the braces to make you wanna keep using them, and deceiving your poor soul. If you've never had braces, you're playing life on easy mode.

OW! THE WIRE'S POKING ME! I WISH I NEVER GOT BRACES!
OW! I CAN'T EVEN CHEW, WHEN WILL THIS HELL END!?!?

by RedNine August 10, 2022

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brace position

The position assumed by passengers of an aircraft in danger of an imminent collision or emergency landing as announced over the cabin’s public announcement system - occasionally adopted during a particularly disquieting visit to the toilet to dispatch a no.2 when someone is required to bow their head and grip something nearby or put one or both hands up against the wall.

Oh man, that curry really carved my guts up, last night. I had to assume the brace position just now.

by Stivchik June 9, 2018

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