beard-on

The practice of reality TV pseudo-celebs, primarily on the Discovery Channel, using product in their beards to give the appearance of a long, hard, straight beard, resembling the male mammal penile erection in appearance.

Neil: "Did you catch all those beard-ons on Discovery last night?"

Bob: "I know, right? It's like they won't give you a show unless you're a visable douche..."

by BADxKARMA February 19, 2013

suicide beard

(n.) - Thick, usually ungroomed facial hair grown by an individual when he has ceased to care about life or the consequences of his actions. Suicide beards represent an outward gesture of inner anguish and usually follow traumatic, life-changing events, such as winning the popular vote in a Presidential election, but losing in the electoral college, or witnessing one's beloved dog punted off a bridge by a rogue motorcyclist and subsequently losing one's job as a network news anchor.

Ron Burgundy grows a sweet suicide beard and wanders the streets of San Diego drinking warm milk from a carton.

by Super-Extra August 6, 2007

Epic Beard Man

The 67 year old ex marine that beat the crap out of a younger man who didn't know when to shut his mouth as seen on the youtube video AC Transit Bus Fight.

Locations of his bag are still unknown.

Did you see the epic beard man in that video? That'll teach you to respect your elders.

by epicbeardman February 17, 2010

Bearded Clam

An unshaved, salty, wet, and often fish-like piece of pune.

Lance's mom has an awesome bearded clam.

by PirateHooker October 15, 2007

manifesto beard

A scraggly untended beard that looks like you have been hiding from society for month writing your manifesto.

Person 1: What the hell died on Carl's face?
Person 2: Oh, that? He's just growing a manifesto beard.

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You could tell the unabomber was dangerous because he had a manifesto beard.

by rpetras February 23, 2010

Bearded Ridlon

During anal intercourse, the female proceeds to defecate onto the male's penis. When she finishes, the female then performs oral sex on the male.

Guy 1: "Did you hear what happened to Brian last night?"

Guy 2: "Yes, I heard that nasty chick gave him a bearded ridlon."

by Christian Gilbert December 30, 2011

jesus beard

a man/teenager who has a beard that looks like one which jesus had. It gives the person an uncany resemblance to jesus himself.

"see last night when we were talking about Henri, her son was right behind you and i was trying to tell you to stop!"

"omg is that the guy who looks like jesus?!"

"what?"

"he looks like jesus! he has a jesus beard !"

by bubblez119944 February 24, 2009