the benefits of being an asshole

A phrase born of the fact that Florida’s Governor, Ron DeFlatus, has suggested that the state’s educational curriculum include material on “the benefits of being a slave” so that whitefolk don’t wind up stewing in their own guilt over slaveholding ancestors, thereby garnering him some white votes since there are so many that would vote for such an asshole with this point of view.

The “anti-woke” Florida Governor knows that he can garner strong support from white supremacists by virtue of his ridiculous reinvention of history and this illustrates the benefits of being an asshole in this part of the country.

by Dr Bunnygirl July 20, 2023

texas asshole massacre

when your Texan uncle proceeds to take his 2 in. chode and steak knife, carve his initials with the knife on your right buttcheek and carve "DADDYS HOLE" on the left one.

hello, officer, my uncle texas asshole massacred my ass and i cant sit down without the blood from my buttcheek cuts start to seep out of my pants and all over the chair.

by Lou Sassoul December 17, 2019

fashizling my asshole

to tell a person that you were joking or to ask if someone is joking

person 1: "I just smashed your vase" person 2: "dude. are you fashizling my asshole?"

Example 2: person one: "did you just smash my vase" person 2: "no i was just fashizling your asshole"

by assdunker November 26, 2010

Asshole Recovery Period

The lag time after a shit in which you're unable to sit down. Not to be confused with Post Shit Syndrome.

Rick had an hour long asshole recovery period after downing 2 foot long chilli cheese dogs.

by TesticularTorsion September 2, 2014

Asshole By Choice (ABC)

A person who consciously chooses to be mean or nasty when he or she can pick the moral high ground instead.

Asshole By Choice (ABC) : Who? That Guy? Oh he's an ABC. An Asshole By Choice! Why else would he kick that puppy?

by melaniexavier1 October 23, 2018

Stuck behind the asshole

Being stuck behind someone driving too slow. You stay behind them thinking that they are not gonna go exactly where you are going for long but they do. Then your frustration sets in being stuck behind the ASSHOLE!!!

I was driving home from work after a long week, I was making good time until I was stuck behind the asshole.

by cpetkunas February 16, 2019

Gorilla Grip Asshole

When a person that ryhmes with narlos has an asshole sooooo grippy that it can break an actual hand when he/they gets fisted

Person 1: Yo Narlos you have a gorilla grip asshole that just broke my hand when i fisted it last night

Narlos 2: hehe sorry it does that sometimes

Person 1: your gorilla grip asshole is so FUCKIN TROJAN

by NARLOS July 9, 2022