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Captain

Captain

Possibly from Serbia, but now a full fledged American, the Captain is a heroin addict with the MOST experience in their circle of user-friends, affording him the biggest ship (the most drugs) to stand at the helm and steer (appear conscious while actually on the nod) everyone safely thru their high.

The Captain must always be on the lookout for smaller ships, little up and commers, that could damage his vessel. It's a big ocean out there, and it's full of dangers that could kill his vibe. The Captain knows he put in work to get where he is, and there's always going to be pirates out on the sea, looking to take it from him.

The Captain has a reputation of bitches always flocking to him, trying to get on his ship, but he prides himself (even gets off on) telling them all no. It's partly how he stays in command with that power. Besides the captain usually has a Jenny sponsoring him, so his needs are well handled, and for that captains are very loyal beings with less likelihood of scandalous tendencies.

Side effects of being the captain, he becomes accustomed to.people just hooking him up with free work, and so when he runs out, which is rare, it becomes his excuse for why he disappeared all day (looking for drugs).
Parents: where were you with our car all night??
Captain: chill, Im the captain, i had to go work for work! Plus.my ship docked and needed it's captain to come and steer it for a while..
by Jenny520 March 4, 2019
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Captain Mess

A legend!

One who destroys little green soldiers!
Captain Mess, loved by all, respected by done!
by Captain Mess January 23, 2021
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Captained

It's when someone is sitting next to something you can do the captains pose and fart next to them. Or in their face...... Even better!
There was an empty chair next to him so I captained him!
by Paulie Bhoy September 27, 2013
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Captain Karlos

The owner and operator of all operations. No exceptions!
You must answer to Captain Karlos. He calls the shots.
by Jryanrussell October 9, 2025
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Captain Flex

Dude with a slim build who sees himself as more of a Scottiah adonis body god
Usually found peacocking around the floor for no reason
Throws out a random flex when a member of the opposite sex is around
Look at BB over there peacocking round those hoes, he is the real deal captain flex
by Jonsnowknowsnowt July 27, 2016
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captain kiwi

a loud ass kid that screams alot
Damn that's a captain kiwi they don't shut the fuck up
by UNSTOPPABLEAWESOMEGAMER October 21, 2020
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the Captain Ahab

When one licks the stump of an amputee. See also Harpooning the White Whale.
He took the prosthetic of my stumb and then gave me the Captain Ahab!
by Moby_Dicktator November 23, 2010
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