Phrase. Identifying. A individual who always gives "advice" or graces others with there "superior intellect" in a loud annoying way that is common sense(or should be) or has already been stated but now they will say it again in a different tone as if it was never heard or said (short term memory recall), this advice or information is usually given after something has been decided/discussed making the individual feel as though they solved everything and/or nothing would have been decided/done/gained hadnt they "spoken up" these individuals must always have the last word even days later and just a sound; Captain Jackass is not a nick name, this phrase is only use in the type of situation/moment it refers. Traditionally once the individual starts "the thing of it is" speech they are allowed to finish, making this phrase more appropriate as "stupid" doesnt know when to stop once they are pleased with themselves (or youve had enough)give them eye contact and firmly state "THANK YOU CAPTAIN JACKASS!!" Adding a "WELL" in front of the phrase to interrupt is optional; Hopefully there is room for reinforcing/retraining the simple minded brain that the knowledge they DO have is basic at best n adults are talking now, If not you have just learn a wonderful new phrase thats perfect when used properly every time!
1: Did you know if you stand in the road you could get hit by a car?.....Yah i know
2: WELL THANK YOU CAPTAIN JACKASS!! You are a true asset to mankind......scholar to your peers n such ...
1: What ... Captain peers, like captain Malibu honey ...dbdjf....ddfd.. yah i drink that..
2: You want me to hit you with the newspaper again .... ima get it ...
1: Iam going to the bank in the moring because they are closed after 12pm and I n....
*LOUD INTERRUPTING STUPIDITY*
2: You should go to the bank 1st in the morning remeber they close at 12pm and yo....THE THING OF IT IS my sisters brothers half dogs cusin pet trees gmas worked at the bank makr short story long now they owe me money so they say if you give me your money then ill givejz fieobdbdjrvjfndbwhdjdktnfj dd fkd and ..
3: *WITH THE ASSIST* THANK YOU CAPTAIN JACKASS! WE GOT IT !!
1: Thanks bruh I couldnt take it all that gibberish....its like she making words with ABC magnets ...but THEY JUST BANANA STICKERS! .... i owe you
3: Yep ..you sure do sir ..sure do....Ill add it to your BroTab
2: *Talking to self* Oh uh PEE...Thats what i had ment to say i gottda dpeiplldbdbh....
2: WELL THANK YOU CAPTAIN JACKASS!! You are a true asset to mankind......scholar to your peers n such ...
1: What ... Captain peers, like captain Malibu honey ...dbdjf....ddfd.. yah i drink that..
2: You want me to hit you with the newspaper again .... ima get it ...
1: Iam going to the bank in the moring because they are closed after 12pm and I n....
*LOUD INTERRUPTING STUPIDITY*
2: You should go to the bank 1st in the morning remeber they close at 12pm and yo....THE THING OF IT IS my sisters brothers half dogs cusin pet trees gmas worked at the bank makr short story long now they owe me money so they say if you give me your money then ill givejz fieobdbdjrvjfndbwhdjdktnfj dd fkd and ..
3: *WITH THE ASSIST* THANK YOU CAPTAIN JACKASS! WE GOT IT !!
1: Thanks bruh I couldnt take it all that gibberish....its like she making words with ABC magnets ...but THEY JUST BANANA STICKERS! .... i owe you
3: Yep ..you sure do sir ..sure do....Ill add it to your BroTab
2: *Talking to self* Oh uh PEE...Thats what i had ment to say i gottda dpeiplldbdbh....
by ScreenDoor-Junkie July 6, 2022
Get the Captain Jackassmug. a bozo who has the IQ of a peanut and cant seal the deal.
He thinks hes a good wrestler but in the end hes just a lame ass bum who took steriods to win. Captain Stretchy is the real champ. I am not Captain Stretchy
He thinks hes a good wrestler but in the end hes just a lame ass bum who took steriods to win. Captain Stretchy is the real champ. I am not Captain Stretchy
by Captain Midget May 14, 2006
Get the Captain Machinemug. An adorable big black guy who once read the entire Urban dictionary in only 74 mins. so that he "could converse with the others uniformed officers" .
He's been the captain of Brooklyn 99 precint, a kind of Daddy figure for Jake Peralta and a loving husband to Kevin.
His worst enemy is Madeline Wuntch , for whom he has frequently travelled abroad "to look for new Wuntch insults" . She later demoted him from captain to cop, escalating season 7th in a crazy funny situation.
His robot personality has smoothed down more and more during the 8th seasons of the show and his straight alter-ego "Is a real dog!" (quote by Jake Peralta).
He's really loved by all the squad and makes a great character who loves to send criminals, alias. PUNKS, in prison.
He's been the captain of Brooklyn 99 precint, a kind of Daddy figure for Jake Peralta and a loving husband to Kevin.
His worst enemy is Madeline Wuntch , for whom he has frequently travelled abroad "to look for new Wuntch insults" . She later demoted him from captain to cop, escalating season 7th in a crazy funny situation.
His robot personality has smoothed down more and more during the 8th seasons of the show and his straight alter-ego "Is a real dog!" (quote by Jake Peralta).
He's really loved by all the squad and makes a great character who loves to send criminals, alias. PUNKS, in prison.
Grandma: "Derek, did you steal 20 bucks from my wallet again?!"
Derek: "...nope"
Grandma: "I know you are lying, You, PUNK!"
Derek: "Gosh, you really sound like Captain Raymond Holt"
"There is nothing more intoxicating that the clear absence of a penis" - Captain Holt alter-ego.
Derek: "...nope"
Grandma: "I know you are lying, You, PUNK!"
Derek: "Gosh, you really sound like Captain Raymond Holt"
"There is nothing more intoxicating that the clear absence of a penis" - Captain Holt alter-ego.
by Spaghetti_Lover_69 September 13, 2023
Get the Captain Raymond Holtmug. 1. Taking a picture of your dick or asking someone else to. Often said or requested when someone is already taking a picture.
2. Snapping a dick pic
2. Snapping a dick pic
1. She's so thirsty , I'm gonna take one of the captain .
2. Boyfriend: hey, I'm gonna send you some selfies tonight.
Girlfriend: don't forget to take one of the Captain Too ;)
Boyfriend: Only if you send me some too
Girlfriend: Deal!
2. Boyfriend: hey, I'm gonna send you some selfies tonight.
Girlfriend: don't forget to take one of the Captain Too ;)
Boyfriend: Only if you send me some too
Girlfriend: Deal!
by PlasmaPony June 8, 2018
Get the take one of the captainmug. *drunk person trips over curb and smokes face on parking meter*
Joe - "Wow, that dude just captain crunched!"
Joe - "Wow, that dude just captain crunched!"
by OSO_LOCO January 21, 2021
Get the Captain Crunchmug. by 2moist4u. November 3, 2024
Get the Captain Planet Fartmug. by Jdub4200 December 27, 2008
Get the captain one speedmug.