jesus god

An exclamation when something is outrageous or absurd.

I mashed those guts last night.
Jesus god, she was ugly
Buh

by Little Grundle June 11, 2004

Jesus Fuck

verb: The act of forcing something to work through blunt strength or force.

also can be described as ghetto rigging something through force.

When a stubbern object is lodged in an awkward position and you want to get it out, you have the option to jesus fuck it, and make it work.

by mikedusher October 13, 2009

Fat Jesus

The guy who always gets stuck with the fat chick in a group. A messiah for overweight women.

Looks like Fat Jesus got himself a hippo this time.

by @shot_of_cabo November 14, 2019

Jesus grin

A stupid Christian look as to where people smile in a smug way knowing they are going to heaven and you're going to hell.

Atheist 1: Hey, did you see the picture of Katie on her facebook profile?

Atheist 2: Yeah, she has that stupid Jesus grin all over her face!

by honestguy87110 August 25, 2011

jesus weiner

an exclamation; a general term of surprise; expression of outragia; unexpected spiritual epiphany

"Jesus weiner! Why can't you keep that spit in your mouth where it belongs?" "Jesus weiner, I didn't know Katy gave birth to a hybrid alien baby girl!" "Jesus weiner, did the boss ever take a piece of my ass in that meeting!" "Jesus weiner, I sure got raped by that car dealer!" "Jesus weiner, I have all 6 numbers on tonight's Lotto!!!!"

by twopaws February 19, 2010

Jesus Crisis

The combined total of the confusion and chaos created by all the religeous factions, their dogma, ritual and conflicting interpretations of ancient superstitious writings and failed attempts to give meaning to natural phenomenon.

People are murdering each other over who has the best imaginary friend, jesus crisis!

by JackTheWhipper June 28, 2019

Thot Jesus

A Thot Jesus is person that claims to have a magical dick game and tends to heal thot behavior among women; leaving them to have sex only with Thot Jesus and nobody else.

Guy 1: Hey bro you heard that Macey, the class thot, aint fuckin no nigga but only Jaime now.
Guy 2: Yeah fr, all these thots claiming he got a magical dick or sumn. all these bitches flocking like he Jesus.
Guy 1: Jaime a Thot Jesus.
Guy 2: damn my girl Snapchat story she with Thot Jesus. My life is over.

by Atbatb September 25, 2019