Closeted Erectosexual

When you get a massive amount of dog mud on your frontal and eternal.

Sam: Darnley get off of me you’re covered in dog mud!
Jackson: Darnley is honestly such a closeted erectosexual.

by Poopassjackson June 28, 2018

close range header

Having sex with a girl that is ugly or of no class. (Slag)

I scored a close range header last night boys it had to be done

by Flairy May 9, 2018

'Clitswitch'

Action that causes extreme sexual arousal in a woman.

Once he found her 'clitswitch', she nearly screwed him to death.

by Escque September 6, 2018

Cl3ts

A disease developed from the testicular region cured by drinking body fluids of other males.

Man got bare cl3ts init blud.

by Bendude09 September 22, 2018

Closet Jacker

An overly competitive alpha-male who refuses to accept defeat; or when defeated, is a total bitch about it, see also veenus master.

Once Tyrone lost by a free-throw, he's been nothing but a closet jacker in all our pickup games.

by Chuck Denniston October 5, 2018

closet fuccboi

1. A fuccboi who hasn't realised his identity yet, but will become a fuccboi as soon as he gets a chance
2. A fuccboi who hides his identity from his close friends in order to get close to their friends and perform fuccboikery on them.
3. Somebody who orders iced chocolate at Starbucks, which makes him seem sweet and nice but he will use this fact to get innocent sweet-toothed girls

Riva: "Toby, I have a friend who'd be the perfect girl for you."
Simon: "Me too, me too!"
Riva: "No. Simon is very attractive but he's a closet fuccboi."
Simon: "I am not a closet fuccboi!!"
Riva: "Well, your Starbucks order says otherwise."

by lovehandle00 November 24, 2018

Closet Vaxxer

A parent that vaccinates their children or child in secret out of fear of being mocked and shamed by anti-vaxxers.

Did you hear about old Lou Silinavich, I heard he was a closet vaxxer and his kids are actually vaccinated. We shouldn’t let little Bobby Joe & Sue Ellen play with his kids any longer.

by MahatmaJonny December 19, 2018