Sleep Paralysis Demon

A Sleep Paralysis Demon is that scary shi that watches you sleep while asking for breakfast or for something to do because ho u slacking on that breakfast and entertainment, that scary shi might just eat your toes off while you sleep.
(This is definitely not your Sleep Paralysis Demon.)

You: Damn, I can’t move or speak… this shi tuff.. wonder what it is. Oh it’s a Sleep Paralysis Demon… makes sense.

Sleep Paralysis Demon: Hey pookie, so I’m your new Sleep Paralysis Demon! Make me food, please! I beg of you. I could eat you, but I won’t if you feed me food :3

by ASleepParalysisDemon July 17, 2025

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Sleep Paralysis Demon

A Sleep Paralysis Demon is when you're sleeping, then startled into a half-awake state, in which a scary creature, (often gargoyle-like), has you in its grasp. Usually from behind. You can feel its body against your and its claws digging into your skin. You are frozen. Perhaps frozen in fear. But not necessarily, since I've tried to fight them off, but I'm still frozen. Your partially awake mind, wonders how it got in your room. You will assume through the window. As they are often hawk-like, or Doberman-like, you figure they just crashed through the window. If it's man, it's scarier, because he's usually squeezing your jewels.

If you stay cool, and keep reaching for your rational mind, logic will win out, and the fear will dissipate rather quickly, and you'll wake up. On the other hand, if you're the emotional type and given to weird beliefs, as you start thawing you flip your sh*t and start screaming. This is the "Night Terror" part of it.

Sleep Paralysis Demon: "So I was at the dealership shopping for a car today. I felt there was something a little off about the salesman. Nothing major, just quiet baldy weird. That night he's in my dream and he's got zero respect for body space. Every time I ask him something he walks up nearly face to face to me as he explains things. I can nearly taste the tofu on his breath. Next thing I know he's spooning me in bed with his hand in a vice grip around my nads. I was frozen stiff as I tried to eek out, "I'll buy the car. First thing in the morning. I promise."

by Frip88 July 26, 2025

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Feral Paralegal

A feral paralegal is an unsupervised or barely supervised (as in, “I met the lawyer once at last year’s Christmas Party”) paralegal who cranks out divorce and custody documents, prenuptial agreements, wills, and other documents typically for a flat fee commonly ending in “99”.

According to the Great Marshal Willick, Esq., feral paralegals are unlicensed, unregulated paralegals, operating divorce mills either entirely unsupervised, or under the farcical fig leaf of a token listed attorney, who often is not even in the same city as the paralegals being “supervised.”

by BadAtty October 22, 2025

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