Fatherless Feminine Theorem (FFT)

This theorem states that any woman in the age of 12-22 , that has a father figure absent shall be a discord whore / egirl who talks to a minimum of 7 guys and a maximum of 18.2 relationships annually to get there attention act like you are a father figure and you shall win that ass

The Fatherless Feminine Theorem (FFT) helped me pull a fatherless e girl!

by RaidenCell November 1, 2022

Infinite Fruit-Roll Up Theorem

The infinite Fruit-Roll Up Theorem is a theorem that was sparked in the early 21st century and still leaves philosophers baffled. The base premise of the theorem assumes that a Fruit-Roll Up is rolled around the shaft of a male's penis. This then begs the question, "Is it gay if you were to take a bite out of a Fruit-Roll Up that was miles in diameter but at its center, wrapped around a penis?"

Philosophers argued for years over whether the action would be gay and the following theorem was created:

As the diameter of Fruit-Roll Up approaches infinity, gayness approaches zero.

As the diameter of Fruit-Roll Up approaches zero, gayness approaches infinity.

It is key to note that no matter how thick and large in diameter the Fruit-Roll Up is, as long as its center is rolled around a penis, it will always be some form of gay.

"I saw a massive Fruit-Roll Up in my front yard today and was about to take a bite but then remembered about the Infinite Fruit-Roll Up Theorem and did not want to be associated with any form of gayness."

by fruitrolluptheoreminventor March 21, 2022

Triple Pre-Nut Theorem

(N) The event of getting three nuts out when your girl says she's coming over so you can have more safe sex or shoot blanks.

Sheeit i gotta get my triple pre-nut theorem out before kylee comes over.

by Scoocher2677 September 3, 2017

dumbass theorem

The theorem that makes you look smart even though your jus plain incorrect

4x3 actually equals 8 bc if you break them apart then multiply all of them together you get 8. This is the dumbass theorem bc it make you look smart

by DrizzledSyrup March 20, 2023

Google finger theorem

The concept that artificial intelligence like that used in self driving cars and other autonomous machines will never be fully integrated into everyday life until they can interpret human nonverbal communication in the appropriate context.

When I give a self driving car the finger and it reacts appropriately, I will know the technology is ready for prime time. This is the Google finger theorem in practice.

by Bozotexano July 23, 2016

Quadralic Theorem

You dumb as hell if you think this a real thing.
Thiccoldman thinks you retarded.

You dumb as hell if you thought the quadralic theorem was a real thing

by Thiccoldman December 29, 2021

Infinite Funny Theorem

1. When you create a new funny via forgetting the original funny, thus theoretically creating a source of infinite funny; When humor originates from the setup of a joke but the punchline being forgotten in a comedic fashion

2. The Scientific Theory that, if an immortal monkey spent all of eternity clicking on random keys on a keyboard, it would eventually write every joke that could possibly be conceived.

Rick: "Hey, I heard a funny joke the other day! So, a Tibetan Monk walks into a bar in order to observe the lifestyle of people living in a first world country and an urban setting, and then-"
Vick: "Wow, he walked into a bar? That must've hurt!"
Rick: "Haha, you fucking moron, that's not what I meant you failed excuse of a human being."
Vick: "So... where's the funny?"
Rick: "Oh, I forgot I was supposed to be telling a joke-"
Vick: "Hah! You forgot the funny!"
Rick: "No, it's the infinite funny theorem. By forgetting the funny, I've created another funny."
Vick: "Wow, that's pretty funny!"
Pause for laughter. If it does not ensue, then your friends are not based enough.

by Based Guitar December 20, 2020