The original dating website.
Match, like all online dating is a pile of shit, but unlike Tinder and OK Cupid, there's a hefty membership fee . The people on there suck! The women are average looking with ridiculously high standards, wanting a perfect man. The men are desperate weirdos, or sugar daddies looking for hot young women. Their algorithm sucks, your "daily matches" are all selected completely randomly, you'll be lucky if it sends you someone the same age, or city as you, as well as sending you profiles that have already rejected you. Speaking of which, when someone rejects you on match you get a brutal automated rejection.
The other thing is match is hella shady. They have a TON of fake and inactive profiles they keep to boost their numbers, as well as not telling you what profiles are free members meaning they don't have access to messages. Chances are the majority of people you're messaging can't reply or even read your messages. They also have an "auto renewal system" meaning if you don't cancel your membership before it's due to renew you automatically get charged for another 6 months, which match will refuse to refund. Thing is it takes 2 days to cancel the auto renewal. Many a poor bastard has been suckered into paying another 6 months for this shit trap. When you do cancel your membership, you'll instantly get an email saying you've got new messages, another trap. If you do renew it the messages are either be from bots or will magically disappear.
Match, like all online dating is a pile of shit, but unlike Tinder and OK Cupid, there's a hefty membership fee . The people on there suck! The women are average looking with ridiculously high standards, wanting a perfect man. The men are desperate weirdos, or sugar daddies looking for hot young women. Their algorithm sucks, your "daily matches" are all selected completely randomly, you'll be lucky if it sends you someone the same age, or city as you, as well as sending you profiles that have already rejected you. Speaking of which, when someone rejects you on match you get a brutal automated rejection.
The other thing is match is hella shady. They have a TON of fake and inactive profiles they keep to boost their numbers, as well as not telling you what profiles are free members meaning they don't have access to messages. Chances are the majority of people you're messaging can't reply or even read your messages. They also have an "auto renewal system" meaning if you don't cancel your membership before it's due to renew you automatically get charged for another 6 months, which match will refuse to refund. Thing is it takes 2 days to cancel the auto renewal. Many a poor bastard has been suckered into paying another 6 months for this shit trap. When you do cancel your membership, you'll instantly get an email saying you've got new messages, another trap. If you do renew it the messages are either be from bots or will magically disappear.
Bill: Ugh I'm so sick of how crappy tinder is! Man why is dating so hard?
Chrissy: It's because you're using tinder, you should use match.com . It's a paid service so there's a higher calibre of people.
Bill: Hmm maybe you're right, guess I'll give match a try.
*several weeks later*
Bill: Oh my god match fucking sucks! This shit is worse than tinder!
Chrissy: It's because you're using tinder, you should use match.com . It's a paid service so there's a higher calibre of people.
Bill: Hmm maybe you're right, guess I'll give match a try.
*several weeks later*
Bill: Oh my god match fucking sucks! This shit is worse than tinder!
by mrperson123 April 30, 2019
Get the Match.com mug.An individual that pulls from traffic to match the speed of the car next to them; thereby preventing any other individual to now pass.
Some Bastard was following behind another car when suddenly he pulled to the left lane and sped up a little bit and now matched the previous discussed car's speed, thus becoming a speed matcher.
by Craigerz127 October 17, 2010
Get the Speed Matcher mug.Related Words
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A tool box with matching power douche accessories is the most egregious form of tool. If a tool is a common douche-bag, and a tool box is where tons of tools go, then a tool box with matching power douche accessories is the apex predator of douches.
This person would be the megalodon of douche, the Elvis of douchebaggery, or the Mount Everest of douche. In the SCUBA diving world this person would be the Andrea Doria of douche. In rock climbing, this person would be the 5.15a of douche. In cycling, this person would be the Tour De Douche, except that he would have both testicles. In Kalifornia, this person would be the Nancy Pelosi of douche. In the hand gun world, this person would be the Desert Eagle of douche...a douche that is completely unlike other douches to an almost comical, unnecessary degree.
HISTORY OF THE PHRASE:
Cliffy, a Sergeant in my unit in 3rd Infantry Division, referred to our commander (he who shall not be named) as a tool box with matching power douche accessories one time. We all instantly recognized the gravity of the phrase. Like the Tarrasque in Dungeons and Dragons, there can typically only be one tool box with matching power douche accessories in the world at any given point. According to legend, the tool box with matching power douche accessories may take on an apprentice tool box, and upon his death the apprentice will then gain the douche prowess of the then deceased tool box with matching power douche accessories.
This person would be the megalodon of douche, the Elvis of douchebaggery, or the Mount Everest of douche. In the SCUBA diving world this person would be the Andrea Doria of douche. In rock climbing, this person would be the 5.15a of douche. In cycling, this person would be the Tour De Douche, except that he would have both testicles. In Kalifornia, this person would be the Nancy Pelosi of douche. In the hand gun world, this person would be the Desert Eagle of douche...a douche that is completely unlike other douches to an almost comical, unnecessary degree.
HISTORY OF THE PHRASE:
Cliffy, a Sergeant in my unit in 3rd Infantry Division, referred to our commander (he who shall not be named) as a tool box with matching power douche accessories one time. We all instantly recognized the gravity of the phrase. Like the Tarrasque in Dungeons and Dragons, there can typically only be one tool box with matching power douche accessories in the world at any given point. According to legend, the tool box with matching power douche accessories may take on an apprentice tool box, and upon his death the apprentice will then gain the douche prowess of the then deceased tool box with matching power douche accessories.
"Man, our boss is the worse example of douchebaggery that I have ever witnessed in all my years in the military. He is a tool box with matching power douche accessories."
-Cliffy
-Cliffy
by CPT Ron April 30, 2013
Get the Tool box with matching power douche accessories mug.Probably one of the funniest comedians to ever stand on a stage and hold a microphone. His comedy was all over the place, had no real story line to it, but always made you laugh. Sadly though, Mitch died in 2005 of a heart complication.
Hopefully he's making funnies for God, Jesus, and all those bigshots up on the big stage in the sky. This deffinition is dedicated to you Mitch! You rock my socks!....Totally.
R.I.P. Mitch
Hopefully he's making funnies for God, Jesus, and all those bigshots up on the big stage in the sky. This deffinition is dedicated to you Mitch! You rock my socks!....Totally.
R.I.P. Mitch
Some infamous quotes from Mitch Hedberg::
"Some hotels don't have 13th floors because of supersticion...But people on the 14th floor, you know what floor you're really on. Jump out the window of the 13th floor and you will die earlier."
"Rice is great if you want 2000 of something."
"It dosn't matter whether you're black, white, green, or purple...oh wait - green or purple? I think we have to draw the line somewhere. So the hell with purple people...Unless they're choking...then help 'em!"
"Some hotels don't have 13th floors because of supersticion...But people on the 14th floor, you know what floor you're really on. Jump out the window of the 13th floor and you will die earlier."
"Rice is great if you want 2000 of something."
"It dosn't matter whether you're black, white, green, or purple...oh wait - green or purple? I think we have to draw the line somewhere. So the hell with purple people...Unless they're choking...then help 'em!"
by Rose-Colored-Glasses August 15, 2006
Get the Mitch Hedberg mug.A painter of canvas and song who startled us with her honest insights in the 60's and inspired us throughout the 70's and onwards curving a path through folk, rock, jazz and other genres. She says she was never a folksinger but a composer first and foremost and has influenced many of todays powerhouse musicians from Prince to Morrissey, Elton John to Dolly Parton, Bob Dylan and even Bjork. She is still making music in her sixties and is about to release a ballet in 2010 about war incorporating her songs and photographs.
by MCLiscious September 5, 2009
Get the Joni Mitchell mug.The most awesome dude ever! He always is goofing off and is extremely competitive. Mitchell's almost always wanna be having fun, Mitchell's like to workout and it always turns out PERFECT!! They can make friends super easy and are very charming.
You will love them INSTANTLY!
You will love them INSTANTLY!
by Super athletic August 29, 2017
Get the Mitchell mug.Awsome punk band from oakland with matt on drums, justin on bass, jon on guitar and the incredibly hot shawn harris on vocals and guitar. Re-released their first album on Epitaph records back in 2004 and have been touring for what seems forever haha... CHECK EM OUT
Person1: Are you goin to the Chain Me Away Tour?
Person2: The Matches and Plain White T's... OF COURSE! Its gunna be awsome
Person2: The Matches and Plain White T's... OF COURSE! Its gunna be awsome
by The World Falls Up Around Me May 13, 2005
Get the The Matches mug.