blood on the mattress

a really bad one night stand with a guy that just can't keep it up.

On a Sunday morning, Blanche asks, "Hey are you going to call that guy you went home with last night." Rose responds, "No it was just blood on the mattress."

by blanche deveroe September 23, 2008

Matress Bater

One who puts a condom between two matresses and has sex with it.

Scotty is the biggest matress bater. He likes to do it ALL night.

by drake!!! October 23, 2005

Mattress Nook

The divot in a mattress caused by sleeping in the same spot repeatedly.

Person A: "Man, I really need to sleep in a different spot once in a while. I had to climb out of my mattress this morning."

Person B: "Sounds like you have a pretty serious mattress nook

by J-Soul December 9, 2010

mattress of snow

the pile of snow left on top of a car after the owner(s) have cleared the windows off. This pile of snow closely resembles a mattress on top of the car and sits in the same place as a mattress would.

This pile of snow is usually left on the car by incompetent assholes who don't understand that when the snow falls off it could hurt someone.

Did you see that mattress of snow on that mini-van?

Yeah, that shit nearly hit my windshield

by J-Bob 92 January 12, 2011

matress ninja

One truly gifted in the fine arts of coitus, with ninja like bedroom skills and mad flexibility

Last night was incredible... what a matress ninja!!

by meganoshua June 8, 2011

mattress tester

1. Noun: Slang for prostitute

Did you have a good time last night?
Yeah I want back to see that mattress tester

by dickmagee November 19, 2014

mattress ass

The flattened, unappealling shapeless, but sometimes square rear end of a man or woman. Lacking butt cheeks.

Tush, backside, dumper, arse, noassatall, buns, shitbox, fartbox.

While Peggy has definitely got it going on back there, poor Hank is sporting a mattress ass.

by Kel-Kan March 15, 2016