instant mashed potatoes

A vile, ungodly creation with no equal. The ultimate torture weapon of suburban mother's who don't like to peel potatoes or work late. A plague upon suburbia that leaves only hungry children and carnage in it's wake. A "food" dish from hell itself which can both lacerate the inside of your mouth with water-resistant flakes and also dribble out your mouth as you choke on it and beg for the gentle release of death. Generally, they're pretty terrible. Can be used to great effect in soups if you're allergic to flour though.

"Sweetie, I made instant mashed potatoes to go with dinner."
"Fuck you. I'm going out for Thai food. Eat that crap yourself."

by AC1919 December 30, 2016

mashed potatoes

mashed potatoes refers to children and the fact that they often resemble mashed potatoes when they are born

i hate it when i have to pick up the mashed potatoes from the day care center

by bigbrian42069 September 19, 2019

Mashed Potatoes

To cut off your ball sack and testicles, mash them into a pulp and feed it to your sexual partner or eat it yourself.

"Did you hear that Jane ate her boyfriend's Mashed Potatoes?" "Yeah, I heard it was delicious"

by WeirdSexualStimulation September 17, 2025

Mashing the potatoes

When during a blowjob the female/male giving the blowjob grabs a hold around the ball sac and crushes the balls.

Often done by people with "cbt" fetishes (check wiki) and also dominatrices.

"You cant believe how great it felt when Linda and I tried something new, she really likes Mashing the potatoes. It really spiced up our marriage and felt great."

by FilledZac November 22, 2019

mashed potato baddie

A girl whose sole occupation consists of expertly mashing spuds day in and day out, turning the humble tuber into a work of culinary art!

Chef 1: "Who's on the mashed potato baddie duty tonight?"
Chef 2: "I did it yesterday, so it's your turn today!"
Chef 1: "Fair enough, I'll be the mashed potato baddie today and whip up a batch that'll have everyone begging for seconds."

by BeanieBenny February 16, 2024

mashed potato

Slur. A derogatory term used to describe a homosexual who receives anal fornication frequently and subsequently their anus is mashed out like potatoes.

“that pofta fucks every man… he’s definitely a mashed potato”

by negr0thehero May 7, 2023

balls like mashed potatoes

Is a vivid and crude way of describing severe trauma or injury to someone's testicles (potatoes), implying they have been so badly crushed or damaged that they are no longer in their normal shape or condition. This expression is used to emphasize the extent of the injury and the extreme pain associated with it.

Guy 1: Fuck he crushed his nuts on the rail!
Guy 2: I bet he has balls like mashed potatoes now!

by DaveDH June 14, 2024