by Captain Duke November 2, 2025
Get the Turd Burglar mug.A person who buys, or tries to steal, something that is in a bad state of repair and thinks they will be able to sell it after a minor amount of shoddy work for much more money.
Man I can't tell you how many turd burglars from craiglist are blowing up my phone asking me if they think the car I am selling for parts can be rebuilt and made road worthy.
by K2xW July 17, 2021
Get the Turd Burglar mug.A person who anally fists another, grabbing the feces inside the anal cavity. The fister then removes the contents of the anus and proceeds to Waluigi-run away from the crime scene (usually while also maniacally laughing). This is a very real and lucrative crime. On average a turd burglary occurs at least once every hour.
911 Operator: “911, what’s your emergency?”
Victim: “I need to report a burglary.”
911 Operator: “what was stolen.”
Victim: “I’d prefer not to say. Please send an officer quick! The turd burglar is getting away!”
Victim: “I need to report a burglary.”
911 Operator: “what was stolen.”
Victim: “I’d prefer not to say. Please send an officer quick! The turd burglar is getting away!”
by Definitely *NOT a Turd Burglar May 30, 2022
Get the Turd Burglar mug.Someone who simply steals your poop. You could be taking a nice dump, not knowing what’s hiding in your shower, or under your sink… as soon as you stand up from the toilet and turn away for a second… your turd will be gone because the turd burglar took it. You will not catch them… nor see them.. unless they’re over 34 years of age. They are either assigned to a person at the age of 6, or placed into a house when built, and will steal everyone’s turds that ever lives there.
Frank - “Yo… I just took a shit, and when I turned around to flush… it wasn’t there”
Marlo- “oh, it was probably the turd burglar
Marlo- “oh, it was probably the turd burglar
by Stinkletoot May 26, 2024
Get the turd burglar mug.A Turd burglar is a mythical being that takes your turds (aka poop) from your toilet at night when everyone is asleep, similar to the tooth fairy legend.
Little boy: Mommy when will the turd burglar come?
Mother: oh honey the turd burglar only comes at night when your asleep.
Mother: oh honey the turd burglar only comes at night when your asleep.
by BeeftGunkle June 20, 2023
Get the Turd burglar mug.